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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny text alerts and other funny jokes |
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Free Adult Joke
The chieftain of a remote village flew to the United States to visit the president. When he arrived at the airport, a host of newsmen and television cameramen met him. One of the reporters asked the chief if he had a comfortable flight. The chief made a series of weird noises - 'screech, scratch, honk, buzz, whistle, z-z-z-z-z' - and then added in perfect English, 'Yes, I had a very nice flight. 'Another reporter asked, 'Chief, do you plan to visit the Washington Monument while you're in the area?'The chief made the same noises -'screech, scratch, honk, buzz, whistle, z-z-z-z-z' - and then said, 'Yes , and I also plan to visit the White House and the Capitol Building. ''Where did you learn to speak such flawless English?' asked the next reporter. The chief replied, 'Screech, scratch, honk, buzz, whistle, z-z-z-z-z - from the shortwave radio. '
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Zoo Joke
Why did the Irishman buy two tickets to the zoo? One to get in and one to get out.
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Bird Joke
How do you get a parrot to talk properly ? Send him to polytechnic !
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Animal World
There was once an aspiring veterinarian who put himself through veterinary school working nights as a taxidermist. Upon graduation, he decided he could combine his two vocations to better serve the needs of his patients and their owners, while doubling his practice and, therefore, his income. He opened his own offices with a shingle on the door saying, 'Dr. Jones, Veterinary Medicine and Taxidermy -- Either way, you get your dog back!'
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Knock Knock Joke - 2
Knock Knock Who's there ! Ashley ! Ashley who ? Ashley-t's foot !
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School Joke for Kids
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked ayoung engineer fresh out of MIT, 'What starting salary were you lookingfor?'The engineer replied, 'In the neighborhood of $'125
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Joke Online
If you were a swine, you would be what you are now! You say that you are always bright and early. Well, OK!! We know you are early. A half-wit gave you a piece of his mind, and you held on to it. You're nobody's fool. Let's see if we can get someone to adopt you. They say no woman ever made a fool out of you. So who did? You're very smart. You have brains you never used. You're not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately. Eventually, you will get what you asked for. Nice to see you on your feet. Who sent the derrick? You are so dishonest that I can't even be sure that what you tell me are lies! You have a good weapon against muggers -- your face! You are the answer to my prayer!! I prayed to find out if things could get worse!!
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Poker and Gambling Joke
You help your four-year-old learn math by teaching her to count cards
When your addiction counselor says he thinks 'the odds are good' that you will beat your gambling problem, you see it as a reason to immediately call your bookie
You lose your wife in a poker game; you lose your mistress going double-or-nothing; and now they refuse to let you bet your hooker
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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