|
|
|
The
Best Humor Sites on the Internet |
|
Christmas Jokes
Funny Jokes Online
MOCKERY
Ghost Pictures
Ghost Stories
Hilarious Horoscopes
Bizarre Webcam
notMENSA
society for the stupid
Cheap posters
Raunchiest Riddles
Worst Jobs in the World
Love Poems
Inspirational Poems
Funny Poems
Famous Poems
Free Diet Plans
Top Paying
Keywords
Keyword Suggestions
Everything you want to know about everything!
Weird eBay
mesothelioma types
Top 100 Baby Names
flowers online
Poker Articles
Free View Webcams
Work from Home
World History
Baby Name Chooser
Text Links
Online Advertising
Flowers
Top searches
Weird Website
Children's Books
Scottish Jokes
Robert Burns Poems
Midge Jokes
Fathers Jokes
Funny Jokes
Love Quotes
Famous Quotes
Inspirational Quotes
Funny Quotes
Movie Quotes
Friendship Quotes
Get Found
anime girls
5QS |
|
|
No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
| |
|
|
Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
|
|
|
Archive of funny telephone calls and other funny jokes |
|
Free Adult Joke
An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are all to give speaches to the Deaf Society. All are keen to make an impression on their audience. The Englishman goes first and to the surprise of his colleagues starts by rubbing first his chest and then his groin. When he finishes the Scotsman and Irishman ask him what he was doing. Well' he explained' By rubbing my chest I indicated breasts and thus Ladies and by rubbing my groin I indicated balls and thus Gentlemen. So my speech started Ladies and Gentlemen'. On his way up to the podium the Scotsman thought to himself I'll go one better than that English bastard and started his speech by making an antler symbol with his fingers above his head before also rubbing his chest and his groin. When he finished his colleagues asked what he was doing. 'Well' he explained' By imitating antlers and then rubbing my chest and groin I was starting my speech by saying Dear Ladies and Gentlemen'. On his way up to the podium the Irishman thought to himself I'll go one further than those mainland bastards and started his speech by making an antler symbol above his head, rubbing his chest, and then his groin, and then masturbating furiously. When he finished his colleagues asked him what he was doing. 'Well' he explained, ' by imitating antlers, rubbing my chest and then my groin and then masturbating I was starting my speech by saying Deer Ladies and Gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure. . . . . . . '
= = = = = = = = = =
Clean Joke
10. It doesn't snow in Hell. 9. Everyone has heard of Hell. 8. It's more fun getting into Hell. 7. You can't fail out of Hell. 6. At least you can sleep in Hell. 5. Hell is forever, college just seems like it. 4. People smile in Hell. 3. You only have to sell your soul to get into Hell. 2. You know there are hot men in Hell. 1. You wouldn't tell a friend to go to college.
= = = = = = = = = =
Joke for Halloween
There was an airplane full of a shipment of Pepsi flying over Africa. It suddenly had a malfunction and went down. A few weeks later, PepsiCo sent a rescue plane out to look for the lost plane. They found the wreckage but were unable to locate the crew. They searched the area and found a tribe of cannibals. They walked up to the Chief of the tribe and asked him if he knew anything about the crash. The Chief says, 'Yeah'. When asked where the crew was the Chief replied, 'We ate the crew and drank the Pepsi. ' The Rescue crew was shocked. One man asked, 'Did you eat their legs?' The chief replied, 'We ate their legs and we drank the Pepsi. ' Another rescuer asked, 'Did you eat their arms?' The Chief said, 'We ate their arms, and we drank the Pepsi'. After looking totally perplexed for a minute a third added, 'Did you. . . you know. . . eat their. . . . things'?? The chief says, 'No. ' 'No?' asked the rescuers. 'NO', replied the Chief, ' THINGS go better with COKE!!!'
= = = = = = = = = =
Golf Joke
A golfer walks into the clubhouse of the local country club. He tells the golf pro behind the counter that he wants to do 18 and he is going to need a caddy. The golf pro informs him that the country club is running a promotion and if he tries out one of their experimental robot caddies, he can golf for free. The golfer agrees and takes out the robot. While on the golf course the robot caddy tells the golfer the wind speed, distance, even how hard to hit which club. He has the best game of his life.
The next time the golfer goes to the country club, he tells the golf pro that he wants to do 18 holes and that he wants to get one of the robot caddies.
He informs the golfer that they don't have the robot caddies anymore. The golfer, all upset, tells him how great they were and asks him what happened.
The golf pro tells him that members were complaining that the sun would reflect of their metallic material and into their eyes.
The golfer asks him why they didn't just paint the robots black?
The golf pro said that they did, but the next day, 3 of them didn't show up and the other 3 robbed the pro shop.
= = = = = = = = = =
Sport Joke
What is a runner's favourite subject in school? Jog-raphy!
= = = = = = = = = =
Old People Joke
OLD SOCCER PLAYERS never die, they just achieve their final goalOLD SOCCER PLAYERS never die, they just lose their kickOLD SOLDIERS never die, they just fade awayOLD SOLDIERS never die, they just smell that wayOLD SOLDIERS never die, young ones doOLD SOURDOUGHS never die, they just ferment awayOLD SPELUNKERS never die, they just cave inOLD STEELMAKERS never die, they just lose their temperOLD STUDENTS never die, they just get degradedOLD SWIMMERS never die, they just fall off their blocksOLD SWIMMERS never die, they just have a strokeOLD SWIMMERS never die, they just kick-offOLD SYSTEM USERS never die, they just chdir to NULLOLD TANNERS never die, they just go into hidingOLD TAPE DISPENSERS never die, they just get used up
= = = = = = = = = =
Money Joke
If you found a five dollar bill in every pocket of your coat, what would you have ? Someone else's coat.
= = = = = = = = = =
Clinton Joke
Q: What kind of jewelry does Hillary look best in? A: Handcuffs.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
|
| |
|
