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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny tees and other funny jokes |
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Doctor Joke
As the doctor completed an examination of the patient, he said, 'I can't find a cause for your complaint. Frankly, I think it's due to drinking. ''In that case, ' said the patient, 'I'll come back when you're sober'
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Vampire Joke
Did you hear about the vampire who had an eye for the ladies? He used to keep it in his back pocket.
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Totally Weird Joke
Typical 'macho man' marries a typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, lays down the following rules:'I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't expect any hassle from you!I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you otherwise. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozin, and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it! Those are my rules. . . any comments?'His new bride matter of factly says, 'No, that's fine with me. Just understand one thing. . . there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night - whether you're HOME or not!'
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Assorted Joke
Q: How did a Blonde try to kill a bird ?? A: She through it out of the window !!
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Funny Kids Joke
What is small, furry and brilliant at sword fights?A mouseketeer!
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Bumper Stickers - 7
The squeaky wheel is often replaced.
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Ghost Joke
Q: How do ghosts fly from one place to another? A: By scareplane.
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Top 100 Joke
Pulling up to the toll both Jack handed the collector a $100. 00 bill. Looking incredulously at the bill, the collector, in a snappy tone, exclaimed 'I can't break this! I need exact change. ''Come on buddy. ' Jack pleaded, 'Can't you give me a break, just this once?''Nope. Sorry. Exact change!' Answered the collector. 'While thumbing through the change in his ashtray Jack asked the collector, 'Do you really like this job?''Well it's not the best job that I've ever had, but it pays the bills, ' replied the collector. 'what do you do for a living?' he asked. Still counting change and without looking up Jack said, 'I'm a rectum stretcher. ''A what?' asked the collector. 'A rectum stretcher. ' Jack replied, giving the collector a slideways glance. 'What does a rectum stretcher do?' The collector asked. 'Well just as the name implies, I stretch rectums. ' Jack explained setting aside a nickle. 'Wow, is there much call for that kind of work?' The collector asked. 'Oh you'd be surprised. It's real popular with the upper crust, the high society people, the jet set. It's the new trend. ' Jack said. Pausing for a moment the collector then asked, 'Well if you don't mind me asking, I mean if it's not too personal, how big do you, well you know. . . ?''. . . How big do I stretch them?' Jack interupted. 'Most of them, not too big, ' He continued, 'but I have stretched some up to six feet. ''SIX FEET!' The collector exclaimed eyes wide, and jaw slack. 'Six Feet. What is someone going to do with a six foot asshole?'Jack, having counted out the exact change, handed the change to the collector. Looking him in the eye, Jack answered, 'Oh, put it on a toll bridge collecting tolls. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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