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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny tee shirt and other funny jokes |
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Lawyer Joke
A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer's club by mistake. The old legal lions gave them a fight for their life and their money. The gang was very happy to escape. 'It ain't so bad, ' one crook noted. 'We got $25 between us. 'The boss screamed: 'I warned you to stay clear of lawyers--we had $100 when we broke in!'
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Bumper Stickers - 1
Never get into an argument with the schizophrenic person and say, 'Just who do you think you are?'
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Spoof Joke
Ex-President Clinton is currently writing a new National Anthem. It's called, 'Yank My Doodle, It's a Dandy. '
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Police Joke
A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 second and then hides it. 'This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?'The first blonde answers, 'That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!'The policeman says, 'Well. . . uh. . . that's because the picture shows his PROFILE. 'Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asks her, 'This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?'The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says, 'Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!'The policeman angrily responds, 'What's the matter with you two?? Of course only one eye and one ear are SHOWING because it's a picture of his profile!! Is that the best answer you can come up with?'Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third blonde and in a very testy voice asks, 'This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?'He quickly adds '. . . think hard before giving me a stupid answer. 'The blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, 'Hmmmm. . . the suspect wears contact lenses. 'The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. 'Well, that's an interesting answer. . . wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that. 'He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face. 'Wow! I can't believe it. . . it's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?''That's easy, ' the blonde replied. 'He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear. '
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American Joke
How do Republicans increase unemployment? Answer: They cut spending on Monica Lewinsky.
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Bumper Stickers - 3
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
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Blind Joke
Did you hear about the blind porcupine? He fell in love with a pincushion!
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Travel Humor
This woman is visiting in Israel and notices that her little travel alarm needs a battery. She looks for a watch repair shop and while she doesn't read Hebrew she finally sees a shop with clocks and watches in the window. She goes in and hands the man her clock. The man says, 'Madam, I don't repair clocks. I am a Mohel. I do circumcisions. ' She says, 'Why all the clocks in the window?'And he says, 'And what should I have in my window?'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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