|
|
|
The
Best Humor Sites on the Internet |
|
Christmas Jokes
Funny Jokes Online
MOCKERY
Ghost Pictures
Ghost Stories
Hilarious Horoscopes
Bizarre Webcam
notMENSA
society for the stupid
Cheap posters
Raunchiest Riddles
Worst Jobs in the World
Love Poems
Inspirational Poems
Funny Poems
Famous Poems
Free Diet Plans
Top Paying
Keywords
Keyword Suggestions
Everything you want to know about everything!
Weird eBay
mesothelioma types
Top 100 Baby Names
flowers online
Poker Articles
Free View Webcams
Work from Home
World History
Baby Name Chooser
Text Links
Online Advertising
Flowers
Top searches
Weird Website
Children's Books
Scottish Jokes
Robert Burns Poems
Midge Jokes
Fathers Jokes
Funny Jokes
Love Quotes
Famous Quotes
Inspirational Quotes
Funny Quotes
Movie Quotes
Friendship Quotes
Get Found
anime girls
5QS |
|
|
No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
| |
|
|
Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
|
|
|
Archive of funny t shirts for men and other funny jokes |
|
Law and Lawyer Joke
A man wanted a big, verocious dog to protect his business, so he visited a kennel that specialized in attack dogs. The man explained to the kennel owner that he wanted the biggest, meanest, most vicious dog in the kennel, and the owner offered to take the man on a tour of the premises. After they had been walking for a few minutes, they came upon a large dog. He was snarling loudly and biting and clawing at the cage. 'He looks like he'd be a pretty good attack dog, ' said the buyer. 'Well, he's not bad, ' replied the owner, 'but I have something better in mind for you. 'They continued walking around the premises, and after a while they found an even larger, meaner dog than the first. He snarled at the two men and tried to bite them through the wire on his cage. 'Ah, ' said the buyer, 'This must be the dog you were referring to earlier. ''Well, no. ' said the owner. 'I have something better in mind for you. 'The men continued their tour. Eventually, they came upon a fairly large dog that was lying quietly on his side, licking his butt. He did not seem to notice as the men approached. 'This is the dog I had in mind for you, ' said the owner. The buyer was flabbergasted. 'You're joking!' he exclaimed. 'This dog seems quite tame; he doesn't act at all like an attack dog at all. Hell, he's just lying there, licking his butt!''I know, I know, ' said the owner. 'But you see, he just ate a lawyer, and he's trying to get the taste out of his mouth. '
= = = = = = = = = =
Ethnic Joke - 2
When young Jose, newly arrived in the United States, made his first trip to Yankee Stadium, there were no tickets left for sale. Touched by his disappointment, a friendly ticket salesman found him a perch near the American flag. Later, Jose wrote home enthusiastically about his experience. 'And the Americans, they are so friendly!' he concluded. 'Before the game started, they all stood up and looked at me and sang, . . . . 'Jose, can you see?''
= = = = = = = = = =
Humor Joke
Camper: There's a leak over my bunk! Counselor: That's what we said in the camp ads. Running water in every cabin!
= = = = = = = = = =
Ethnic Joke - 2
Two Scots, father and son, go to America. - Daddy, when we'll arrive? - Shut up and swim.
= = = = = = = = = =
Ouch Joke
A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the barman who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard which is full and bushy. Are you the landlord?' she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands. 'Actually, no' he replies. 'Can you get him for me - I need to speak to him?' she asks, running her hands up beyond his beard and into his hair. 'I'm afraid I can't' breathes the barman - clearly aroused. 'Is there anything I can do?' 'Yes there is. I need you to give him a message' she continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently. 'Tell him that there is no toilet paper in the ladies room. '
= = = = = = = = = =
Joke for Speeches
Two very elderly ladies were enjoying the sunshine on a park bench in Miami. They had been meeting in that park every sunny day, for over 12 years, chatting and enjoying each others friendship. One day, the younger of the two ladies, turns to the other and says, 'Please don't be angry with me dear, but I am embarrassed. After all these years, what is your name? I am trying to remember, but I just can't. 'The older friend stares at her, looking very distressed, says nothing for two full minutes, and finally with tearful eyes, says. . . 'How soon do you have to know?'
= = = = = = = = = =
Joke Online
An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him. He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, a pessimist by nature, and invited him to hunt with him and his new dog. As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. They fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet. The friend saw everything but did not say a single word. On the drive home the hunter asked his friend, 'Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?' 'I sure did, ' responded his friend. 'He can't swim.
= = = = = = = = = =
Knock Knock Joke - 3
Knock Knock Who's there ! Con ! Con who? Con unhinged !
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
|
| |
|
