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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny t shirts and other funny jokes |
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Joke Online
A therapist told a woman to use some imagination while making love with her husband to spice things up. She replied, 'You mean imagine that it's good?!'
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Dog Joke - 2
What's a dog favourite hobby ? Collecting fleas !
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Mom and Dad Joke
The man passed out in a dead faint as he came out of his front door onto the porch. Someone dialed 911. When the paramedics arrived, they helped him regain consciousness and asked if he knew what caused him to faint. 'It was enough to make anybody faint, ' he said. 'My son asked me for the keys to the garage, and instead of driving the car out, he came out with the lawn mower. '
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Knock Knock Joke - 2
Knock Knock Who's there ! Alistair ! Alistair who ? Alistairs in this house are broken !
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Blonde Joke - 3
Q: Why do blondes always die before help arrives? A: They always forget the '11' in '9-1-1'.
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Men Joke
Man says to God: 'God, why did you make woman so beautiful?' God says: 'So you would love her. ' 'But God, ' the man says, 'why did you make her so dumb?' God says: 'So she would love you. ' 'But God, ' the man says, 'why did you make her so dumb?' God says: 'So she would love you. '
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Strange Humor
AMEN The only part of a prayer that everyone knows. BULLETIN Your receipt for attending Mass. CHOIR A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the congregation to lip-sync. HYMN A song of praise usually sung in a key two octaves higher than that of the congregation's range. RECESSIONAL HYMN The last song at Mass often sung a little more quietly, since most of the people have already left. INCENSE Holy Smoke! JUSTICE When kids have kids of their own. PEW A medieval torture device still found in Catholic churches. RECESSIONAL The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of Mass led by parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the parking lot. RELICS People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually know when to sit, kneel, and stand. TEN COMMANDMENTS The most important Top Ten list not given by David Letterman. USHERS The only people in the parish who don't know the seating capacity of a pew.
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Law Enforcement Joke
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned: 'I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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