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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny t shirt websites and other funny jokes |
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Irish Joke
Liam had left Dublin to go up to Belfast for a bit of skydiving, Late Sunday evening he was found in tree by a farmer. What happened said the farmer, Liam replied, that his parachute failed to open, well said the farmer if you had of asked the locals before you jumped, they would have told you nothing opens here on a Sunday.
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Sporting Joke
Two Tennessee men were starting a round of golf together. On the first tee, the first guy smacked a beautiful drive down the center of the fairway. With a smile, he picked up the tee and walked to the cart. The second guy cranked another good drive down the center of the fairway, Pleased, he hopped in the cart. When they arrived to the golf balls, they noticed that they were 10 yds. apart. 'That's mine up there' said the first guy pointing to the ball closer to the green. 'No way, I outdrove you easily' said the second guy. Before you know it, fists were flying. After a brief scuffle, the second guy stopped and said, 'I know how we can solve this problem!' 'How?' 'We will get the clubhouse pro out here!' Sure enough, they drove back to the clubhouse and got him, dragged him out to the fairway. Studying the situation for a few minutes the pro finally said, 'I know to solve this!' 'How' said the first guy? 'Yeah, How' yelled the second. Replied the pro, 'Who's hittin' the yellow ball?'
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Common Joke
A nun in the convent walked into the bathroom where mother superior was taking a shower. 'There is a blind man to see you, ' she says. 'Well, if he is a blind man, than it does not matter if I'm in the shower. Send him in. 'The blind man walks into the bathroom, and mother superior starts to tell him how much she appreciates him working at the convent for them. She goes on and on and 10 minutes later the man interrupts: 'That's nice and all, ma'am, but you can put your clothes on now. Where do you want me to put these blinds?
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Ethnic Humor
35 People and an Irishman were in a 4 engine jumbo jet headingover the Pacific Ocean, Suddenly, a Message is announced, 'Ladies and Gentlemen Engine #2 has Died, We will be 30 mins late''Damn!' Said the Irishman, 10 mins later, 'I`m sorry people Engine #3 has died, We`ll be 1 hour late'20 mins later, 'Every one, engine # 4 has died, sorry, We`ll be 2 hours late'Suddenly the Irish man speaks out, 'Bloody hell, If the last engine goes we`ll be stuck up hereall day!!'
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Joke Online
I will not waste chalk. . . I will not skateboard in the halls. . . I will not burp in class. . . I will not draw naked ladies in class. . . I did not see Elvis. . . I will not call my teacher `Hot Cakes'. . . Garlic gum is not funny. . . They are laughing at me, not with me. . . I will not yell 'fire' in a crowded classroom. . . I will not encourage others to fly. . . I will not fake my way through life. . . Tar is not a plaything. . . I will not Xerox my butt. . . I will not trade pants with others. . . I will not do that thing with my tongue. . . I will not drive the principal's car. . . I will not pledge allegiance to Bart. . . I will not sell school property. . . I will not instigate revolution. . .
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Knock Knock Joke - 2
Knock Knock Who's there ! Ari ! Ari who ? Ari-S-P-E-C-T !
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Elephant Joke
Why is an elephant braver than a hen ? Because the elephant isn't chicken !
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Humor Joke
Mad men are given a test to prove they are getting normal their teacher draws a door on the wall and orders them to go out. They tart fighting but one remains sitting and the teacher goes to him and asks why he didn't join others and he says 'let them fight they forgot I have the keys'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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