|
|
|
The
Best Humor Sites on the Internet |
|
Christmas Jokes
Funny Jokes Online
MOCKERY
Ghost Pictures
Ghost Stories
Hilarious Horoscopes
Bizarre Webcam
notMENSA
society for the stupid
Cheap posters
Raunchiest Riddles
Worst Jobs in the World
Love Poems
Inspirational Poems
Funny Poems
Famous Poems
Free Diet Plans
Top Paying
Keywords
Keyword Suggestions
Everything you want to know about everything!
Weird eBay
mesothelioma types
Top 100 Baby Names
flowers online
Poker Articles
Free View Webcams
Work from Home
World History
Baby Name Chooser
Text Links
Online Advertising
Flowers
Top searches
Weird Website
Children's Books
Scottish Jokes
Robert Burns Poems
Midge Jokes
Fathers Jokes
Funny Jokes
Love Quotes
Famous Quotes
Inspirational Quotes
Funny Quotes
Movie Quotes
Friendship Quotes
Get Found
anime girls
5QS |
|
|
No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
| |
|
|
Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
|
|
|
Archive of funny t shirt quotes and other funny jokes |
|
Doctor Joke
A new, young MD doing his residency in OB was quite embarrassed performing female pelvic exams. To cover his embarrassment he had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle-aged lady upon whom he was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassed him. He looked up from his work and sheepishly said, 'I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?' She replied, 'No doctor, but the song you were whistling was, I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener'.
= = = = = = = = = =
Joke Online
A bloke who was well known for his anti Italian sentiments, was walking down the street one day with a mate, when they came across a busking act, an Italian with an organ grinding monkey. Our incipient racist stunned his friend by throwing a couple of bucks into the hat. 'I thought you hated Italians?' was the comment as the friend recovered. ' Yeh, I do. But even I'll admit they're cute when they're little. '
= = = = = = = = = =
College Humor
Why did the condom fly across the road?-It was pissed off!!
= = = = = = = = = =
Joke Online
*Question: What is one horsepower?*Answer: One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second. *You can listen to thunder after lightening and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it you got hit, so never mind. *Talc is found on rocks and on babies. *The law of gravity says no fair jumping up without coming back down. *When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when theybroke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions. *When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy. When planets do it we saythey are orbiting. *Rainbows are just to look at, not to really understand. *While the earth seems to be knowingly keeping its distance from the sun, it is really onlycentrificating. *Someday we may discover how to make magnets that can point in any direction. *South America has cold summers and hot winters, but somehow they still manage. *Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back into a sun in thedaytime. *Water freezes at 32 degrees and boils at 212 degrees. There are 180 degrees between freezingand boiling because there are 180 degrees between north and south. *A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go. *There are 26 vitamins in all, but some of the letters are yet to be discovered. Finding them all means living forever. *There is a tremendous weight pushing down on the center of the Earth because of so muchpopulation stomping around up there these days. *Lime is a green-tasting rock. *Many dead animals in the past changed to fossils while others preferred to be oil. *Genetics explain why you look like your father and if you don't why you should. *Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they're there. *Some oxygen molecules help fires burn while others help make water, so sometimes it's brotheragainst brother. *Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make outthe numbers. *We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot ofthings people forget to put the top on. *To most people solutions mean finding the answers. But to chemists solutions are things that are still all mixed up. *In looking at a drop of water under a microscope, we find there are twice as many H's as O's. *Clouds are high flying fogs. *I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and that is the important thing. *Clouds just keep circling the earth around and around. And around. There is not much else to do. *Water vapor gets together in a cloud. When it is big enough to be called a drop, it does. *Humidity is the experience of looking for air and finding water. *We keep track of the humidity in the air so we won't drown when we breathe. *Rain is often known as soft water, oppositely known as hail. *Rain is saved up in cloud banks. *In some rocks you can find the fossil footprints of fishes. *Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a dogs tongue will kill the strongest man. *A blizzard is when it snows sideways. *A hurricane is a breeze of a bigly size. *A monsoon is a French gentleman. *Thunder is a rich source of loudness. *Isotherms and isobars are even more important than their names sound. *It is so hot in some places that the people there have to live in other places. *The wind is like the air, only pushier.
= = = = = = = = = =
Parent Joke
Kids can sometimes ask the toughest questions. Son: Father, Can I ask you a question? Father: Ok ask. Son: When a doctor doctors a doctor, does the doctor doing the doctoring doctor as the doctor being doctored wants to be doctored or does the doctor doing the doctoring doctor as he wants to doctor. Father: !!!??????!!!
= = = = = = = = = =
Bible Joke
Jesus and Moses are sitting in a boat fishing and Jesus says to Moses 'I want to do a miracle so we can feel like the good old days. ' and Moses says 'Yeah sure. ' So Jesus gets up and says 'I think I'll walk on the water, that was always a good one. ' So Jesus walks over to the edge of the boat, steps into the water, and sinks like a stone. Moses drags Jesus back into the boat and revives him. Moses then says 'What's the problem?' and Jesus says, 'I think its the holes in my feet!'
= = = = = = = = = =
Military Joke
A patrol of allied soldiers were in a ruined city during World War Two. They are bragging and joshing about how many kills they have so far to keep up courage on their route through the rubbled buildings. Sergeant Joe thumps his chest and proclaims. 'I got me 4 germans bagged so far. Howabout you John?' Before Pfc John can reply, a lone german soldier runs out of a trashed hotel. In the process of throwing down his rifle after seeing the larger allied soldier group, he shouts 'NEIN!' Pfc John takes aim at the enemy and shoots him. 'Well, he wont get himself a tenth allied soldier. ' Joe all year long!
= = = = = = = = = =
Insect Joke
If a flea and a fly pass each other what time is it? Fly past flea.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
|
| |
|
