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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny t shirt designs and other funny jokes |
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At Work Joke
An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. 'Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at night. ' 'Have you tried counting sheep?''That's the problem - I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying tofind it. '
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Random Joke
An American, a Jew and a Canadian were in a terrible car accident. They were all brought to the same emergency room, but all three of them died before they arrived. Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the American, he stirred and opened his eyes. Astonished, the doctors and nurses present asked him what happened. 'Well, ' said the American, 'I remember the crash, and then there was a beautiful light, and then the Canadian and the Jew and I were standing at the gates of heaven. St. Peter approached us and said that we were all too young to die, and that for a donation of $'50
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School Joke for Kids
A preacher was giving a sermon to a full church when all of a sudden the devil appeared. He was menacing and threatening and the entire congregation started to flee the church except for one old man. When the church was empty the devil went up to the man and asked 'aren't you afraid of me, I'm evil incarnate, the most horrific being in the universe and will most likely torture you!'The man replied 'You don't scare me, I've been married to your sister for 35 years'.
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Children Joke
Mum, there's a man at the door collecting for the Old Folk's Home. Shall I give him Grandma ?'
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Farmer Joke
A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher only wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull. The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store. The attorney for the railroad immediately cornered the rancher and tried to get him to settle out of court. The lawyer did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking. After the rancher had signed the release and took the check, the young lawyer couldn't resist gloating a little over his success, telling the rancher, 'You know, I hate to tell you this, old man, but I put one over on you in there. I couldn't have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went thr ough your ranch that morning. I didn't have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!' The old rancher replied, 'Well, I'll tell you, young feller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that durned bull came home this morning. '
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Knock Knock Joke - 1
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Ivan.
Ivan who?
Ivan new pair of shoes do you like them?
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Car and train Joke
What do you say to a one legged hitch-hiker? Hop in.
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Food Joke
Why did the grape cross the road? To get away from the grapefruit.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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