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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny sunglasses and other funny jokes |
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Blonde Joke - 3
Q: Why did the blonde only smell good on the right side? A: She didn't know where to buy Left Guard!
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Old Age Joke
Sag, You're it
Pin the Toupee on the bald guy.
20 questions shouted into your good ear.
Kick the bucket
Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.
Doc Goose.
Simon says something incoherent.
Hide and go pee.
Spin the Bottle of Mylanta
Musical recliners.
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Statistics and Math Joke
Theorem: 3=4Proof:Suppose:a + b = cThis can also be written as:4a - 3a + 4b - 3b = 4c - 3cAfter reorganizing:4a + 4b - 4c = 3a + 3b - 3cTake the constants out of the brackets:4 * (a+b-c) = 3 * (a+b-c)Remove the same term left and right:4 = 3
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Travel and tourist Joke
I can't believe it, said the tourist. 'I've been here an entire week and it's done nothing but rain. When do you have summer here?' 'Well, That's hard to say, ' replied the local. 'Last year, it was on a Wednesday. '
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Clean Humor
Q: Why do so many Polish navy personnel drown? A: Because when the engine stops, they all have to get out and push!
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Ethnical Joke
Two Arabs boarded a shuttle out of Washington for New York. One sat in the window seat, the other in the middle seat. Just before takeoff a fat, little Israeli guy got on and took the aisle seat next to the Arabs. He kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said, 'I think I'll go up and get a coke. ' 'No problem, ' said the Israeli. 'I'll get it for you. ' While he was gone, the Arab picked up the Israeli's shoe and spit in it. When the Israeli returned with the coke, the other Arab said, 'That looks good. I think I'll have one too. ' Again, the Israeli obligingly went to fetch it, and while he is gone the Arab other picked up the other shoe and spit in it. The Israeli returned with the coke, and they all sat back and enjoyed the short flight to New York. As the plane was landing the Israeli slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened. 'How long must this go on?' he asked. 'This enmity between our peoples. . . . . this hatred. . . this animosity. . . this spitting in shoes and peeing in cokes?'
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Children Joke
Tyler was excited about his first day at school. So excited in fact, that only a few minutes after class started, he realized that he desperately needed to go to the bathroom. So, Tyler raised his hand politely to ask if he could be excused. Of course, the teacher said yes, but asked Tyler to be quick. Five minutes later Tyler returned, looking more desperate and embarrassed. 'I can't find it, ' he admitted. The teacher sat Tyler down and drew him a little diagram to where he should go and asked him if he will be able to find it now. Tyler looked at the diagram, said 'yes' and goes on his way. Well, five minutes later he returned to the class room and says to the teacher, 'I can't find it. ' Frustrated, the teacher asked Tommy, a boy who has been at the school for a while, to help him find the bathroom. So, Tommy and Tyler go together and five minutes later they both return r\nand sit down at their seats. The teacher asks Tommy, 'Well, did you find it?' Tommy is quick with his reply, 'Oh sure, he just had his boxer shorts on backwards. '
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Movie and TV Joke
Q: How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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