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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny stuff for your phone and other funny jokes |
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Bird Joke
What is the definition of a goose ? An animal that grows down as it grows up !
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Marriage Joke
A woman was in court charged with wounding her husband. 'But why did you stab him over a hundred times?' asked the judge. 'Oh, your Honor, ' replied the defendant, 'I didn't know how to switch off the electric carving knife. '
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Farmer Joke
What do you call an Arab dairy farmer? A milk sheik.
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School Joke for Kids
Twas the night before Payback. . . 'Twas the night before Payback and all through the land, The Taliban are running like rabbits in Afghanistan. Osama's been praying, he's down on his knees, He's hoping that Allah will hear all his pleas. He thought if he killed us that we'd fall and shatter, But all that he's done is just make us madder. We haven't yet forgotten our Marines in Beirut, And we'll kick your ass, with one heavy boot. And yes we remember the USS Cole, And the lives of our sailors that you bastards stole. You think you can rule us and cause us to fear, You'll soon get the answer if you live to hear. And we ain't forgotten your buddy Saddam, And he ain't forgotten the sound of our bombs. You think that those mountains are somewhere to hide, They'll go down in history as the place where you died. Remember Khadhafi and his line of death?He came very close, to his final breath. So come out and prove it, that you are a man, Cause our boys are coming and they have a plan. They are our Fathers and they are our Sons, And they sure do carry some mighty big Guns. They would have stayed home, with Children and Wives, Till you bastards came here and took all these Lives. Osama I wrote this especially for you, For air mail delivery by B-52. You soon will be hearing a thud and a whistle, Old Glory is coming, attached to a missile. I won't be sorry to see your cowardly ass go, It's Red, White, and Blue that's running this show!
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School Joke
On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules:'The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. 'He continued, 'Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you a fine of $180. Are there any questions?' At this point, a male student in the crowd inquired:'How much for a season pass?'
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Bus Joke
Passenger: Will this bus take me to New York? Driver: Which part? Passenger: All of me, of course!
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Joke Online
I received a letter from my bank the other day, telling me, 'This is the last time we're going to spend a quarter totell you that you have fifteen cents!'
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Bumper Stickers - 6
Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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