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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny star wars games and other funny jokes |
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Foreigners Joke
How do you play Iraqi bingo?F18. . . B52. . . F18Sent by Onky
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Food and Drink Joke
Knock Knock Who's there ! Butter ! Butter who ? Butter wrap up - it's cold out here !
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Camping Joke
A father and son went fishing one day. While they were out in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him. He asked his father, 'How does this boat float?The father replied, 'Don't rightly know son. ' A little later, the boy looked at his father and asked, 'How do fish breath underwater?'Once again the father replied, 'Don't rightly know son. ' A little later the boy asked his father, 'Why is the sky blue?'Again, the father repied. 'Don't rightly know son. ' Finally, the boy asked his father, 'Dad, do you mind my asking you all of these questions?'The father replied, 'Of course not, you don't ask questions, you never learn nothin'. '
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Spelling Joke
Spell mousetrap with three letters. C-A-T
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Doctor Joke
There are several different kinds of doctors, and it is told that they can be differentiated by the following method:General Practitioners know nothing and do little. Surgeons know little and do everything. Internists know everything and do nothing. Pathologists know everything and can do everything, but it's usually too late.
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Totally Weird Joke
There once was this bar with a sign in its window. It read, anyone who can make my horse laugh will have all the drinks they want on the house. So this guy walks in and asks if he can give it a try. The bartender says sure. The cowboy walks out there and whispers something in the horse's ear. The horse starts laughing hysterically. The guys walks in and the bartender gives him the drinks. The next night the same guy and the same thing happens. The third night the sign is changed to making the horse cry. The guy goes out side and a few minutes later he comes back in and the horse is crying. The bartender says 'o. k. you can have your drinks but first tell me what you did to make my horse laugh. ' The cowboy said, 'I told him my privates are bigger than his. ' 'O. K. but how did you make him cry?' The cowboy replied, 'I proved it to him. '
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Worst Joke
Sally, a blonde, goes on her first camping trip. Her husband, who was a Scout Leader, was sick so she volunteered to take over for him one weekend. She got everyone together and assigned different duties to each scout. Gabby was responsible for the food supplies, Mike would be the cook this trip, Johnnie was responsible for their maps and making up a time schedule, Tim was to decide on their events, and to fit them into Johnnie's schedule and Sally would test all their equipment before setting out. They arrived at Big Moose Mountain and everyone was excited. They arrived right on schedule and were getting ready for their first event - hiking up the mountain. But first, they wanted to get something to eat. So Sally asked Mike if he would prepare the meal and, of course, Mike said he would. About 10 minutes later he came back and told Sally, 'I can't make the supper. I can't light a fire with the matches you brought. 'Sally replied, 'I don't understand! Those matches should be perfectly fine. I tested them all just before we left. '
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Marriage Joke
A fellow was very much in love with a beautiful girl. One day she told him that the next day was her birthday. He told her he would send her a bouquet of roses. . . one for each year of her life.
That evening he called the local florist and ordered twenty-one roses with instructions that they be delivered first thing the next morning.
As the florist was preparing the order, he decided that since the young man was such a good customer, he would put an extra dozen roses in the bouquet.
The fellow never did find out what made the young girl so angry with him.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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