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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny sms tones and other funny jokes |
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Car and train Joke
A boy sat on a train chewing gum and staring vacantly into space, when suddenly an old woman sitting opposite said, 'It's no good you talking to me, young man, I'm stone deaf !'
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Dirty Joke
Q: What does a blonde and a turtle have in common? A: If either one of them end up on there back they are both f*cked.
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Monster Joke
How do you tell a good monster from a bad one? If it's a good one you will be able to talk about it later!
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Bumper Stickers - 3
God made Adam and Eve NOT Adam and Steve.
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Satire Joke
During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer: 'Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I'm supposed to promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'be faithful to her forever, ' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that out. ' He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied. On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the groom's vows, the pastor looked the young man in the eye and said: 'Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?' The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, 'Yes, ' then leaned toward the pastor and hissed: 'I thought we had a deal. ' The pastor put a $100 bill into the groom's hand and whispered: 'She made me a better offer. '
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Religious Joke
Old Mrs. Watkins awoke one spring morning to find that the river had flooded the entire first floor of her house. Looking out of her window, she saw that the water was still rising. Two men passing by on a rowboat shouted up an invitation to row to safety with them. 'No, thank you, ' Mrs. Watkins replied. 'The Lord will provide. ' The men shrugged and rowed on. By evening, the water level forced Mrs. Watkins to climb on top of the roof for safety. She was spotted by a man in a motorboat, who offered to pick her up. 'Don't trouble yourself, ' she told him. 'The Lord will provide. ' Pretty soon, Mrs. Watkins had to seek refuge atop the chimney. When a Red Cross cutter came by on patrol, she waved it on, shouting, 'The Lord will provide. ' So the boat left, the water rose and the old woman drowned. Dripping wet and thoroughly annoyed, she came through the pearly gates and demande d to speak to God. 'What happened?' she cried. 'For cryin' out loud, lady, ' God said, 'I sent three boats!'
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Car and train Joke
The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you end up at work.
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Relationships Joke
A man had a flat tire on a very cold winter day. He told his girlfriend he'd have it fixed in no time. However as it was very cold his hands kept getting cold. He askedhis girl if he could put his hands between her knees to warm them. She said that would be allright. After getting his hands warm hewent back to fixing the tire but it was so cold he could notcontinue so he again asked his girl if he could warm his hands. She again said it would be allright. When his hands were warm hewent back to fixing the tire once more. But before he been outthere five minutes or so he again asked her if he could warm hishands. His girl asked 'Honey don't your ears ever get cold?'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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