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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny sms alerts and other funny jokes |
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Witch Joke
What do witches use pencil sharpeners for? To keep their hats pointed.
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Bird Joke
What do chickens serve at birthday parties ? Coop-cakes !
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Animal World
Two sheepherders are perfoming unnatural acts with two of theirherd simultaneously. One turns to the other, disgustedly, and says, 'I hear they're doing this to women in Chicago!'
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Ghost Joke
What do you get is you cross a ghost with a packet of potato chips? Snacks that go crunch in the night.
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Blonde Joke - 2
What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA? 'Look! They spelled MACY's wrong!'
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Mouse Joke
Why do mice need oiling ? Because they squeak !
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Festival Joke
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing 'Love' stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says, 'I'm sending out one thousand Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'''But why?' asks the man. 'I'm a divorce lawyer, ' the man replies.
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Short Joke
This women of forty, being a rather vain person, decided she needed a face lift. With her pocketbook as large as her ego, she went to several plastic surgeons before choosing the best money could buy. The doctor assured her that he could make her look young for many years because of a new technique he used. After the operation the doc told her that he had put a screw behind each ear that she could tighten as needed to keep her fresh young look. The woman was pleased for several years until one morning when she noticed bags under her eyes. Furiously she stormed into the doctor's office demanding to know why there where bags under her eyes. The doctor replied, 'Lady those aren't bags, they're your tits, and if you don't stop turning those screws you're going to have a beard!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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