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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny smilies and other funny jokes |
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Waiter Joke
Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? It's fly soup sir!
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Assorted Joke
Sometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands. When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset. 'You're running around with other women, ' she charged. 'You're being unreasonable, ' Adam responded. 'You're the only woman on earth!'The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by someone poking him in the chest. It was Eve. 'What do you think you're doing?' Adam demanded. 'Counting your ribs, ' said Eve!
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Religious Joke
'What happened to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive?''Popeye beat the shit out of him!'
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Irish Joke
The blind farmer was often taken for a walk in the fields by a kind neighbor. However kindly the neighbor might have been, he was undoubtedly a coward. When a bull charged towards them one day, he abandoned the blind man. The bull, puzzled by a lack of fear, nudged the farmer in the back. He turned very quickly, caught the bull by the horns and threw it to the ground with a bump that left it breathless. 'Aidan, ' said the neighbor, 'I never knew you were so strong. ' 'Faith, and if I could have got that fella off the handlebars of the bicycle I'd have thrashed him properly. '
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Religious Joke
The Reverend Francis Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf. So. . . . he told the associate pastor that he was feeling sick and convinced him to say Mass for him that day. As soon as the associate pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away. This way he knew he wouldn't accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish. Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church! At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed, 'You're not going to let him get away with this, are you?' The Lord sighed, and said, 'No, I guess not. ' Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole. IT WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE! Saint Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked, 'Why did you let him do that?' The Lord smiled and replied, 'Who's he going to tell?'
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Bumper Stickers - 3
Honk If You Love Peace And Quiet
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Mad Joke
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of shit? A: The bucket.
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Government Humor
Presidential Election'2000Dear Abby, I am a sailor in the US Coast Guard. My parents live in the suburb ofPhiladelphia and one of my sisters, who lives in Bensenville, is marriedto a transvestite. My father and mother have recently been arrested forgrowing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my othertwo sisters, who are prostitutes in Jersey City. I have two brothers, onewho is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Attica for rape andmurder of a teenage boy in 1994. The other brother is currently beingheld in the Wellington Remand Center on charges of incest with his threechildren. I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in the Bronx and indeed is still a part-time 'working girl' in a brothel. However her time there is limited, as we hope to open our own brothel with her as the working manager. I am hoping my two sisters would be interested in joining our team. Although I would prefer them not to prostitute themselves, at least it would get them off the street, and hopefully the heroin. . . Abby, my problem is this: I love my fianceand look forward to bringing her into the family and of course I want tobe totally honest with her. . . Should I tell her about my cousin who votedfor Bush?Signed, Worried about my reputation
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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