|
|
|
The
Best Humor Sites on the Internet |
|
Christmas Jokes
Funny Jokes Online
MOCKERY
Ghost Pictures
Ghost Stories
Hilarious Horoscopes
Bizarre Webcam
notMENSA
society for the stupid
Cheap posters
Raunchiest Riddles
Worst Jobs in the World
Love Poems
Inspirational Poems
Funny Poems
Famous Poems
Free Diet Plans
Top Paying
Keywords
Keyword Suggestions
Everything you want to know about everything!
Weird eBay
mesothelioma types
Top 100 Baby Names
flowers online
Poker Articles
Free View Webcams
Work from Home
World History
Baby Name Chooser
Text Links
Online Advertising
Flowers
Top searches
Weird Website
Children's Books
Scottish Jokes
Robert Burns Poems
Midge Jokes
Fathers Jokes
Funny Jokes
Love Quotes
Famous Quotes
Inspirational Quotes
Funny Quotes
Movie Quotes
Friendship Quotes
Get Found
anime girls
5QS |
|
|
No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
| |
|
|
Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
|
|
|
Archive of funny shot glasses and other funny jokes |
|
Funniest Joke
How do blonde's braincells die??-Alone-
= = = = = = = = = =
Strange Humor
Dear GOD, Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident? -NormaDear GOD, Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't You just keep the ones You have now? -JaneDear GOD, Who draws the lines around the countries? -NanDear GOD, I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay? -NeilDear GOD, What does it mean You are a Jealous God? I thought You had everything. -JaneDear God, Did you really mean 'do unto others as they do unto you'? Because if you did, then I'm going to fix my brother! -DarlaDear GOD, Thank you for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy. -JoyceDear GOD, It rained for our whole vacation and is my father mad! He said some things about You that people are not supposed to say, but I hope You will not hurt him anyway. Your friend. (But I am not going to tell you who I am)Dear GOD, Why is Sunday school on Sunday? I thought it was supposed to be our day of rest. -Tom L. Dear GOD, Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before, You can look it up. -BruceDear GOD, My brother is a rat. You should give him a tail. Ha ha. -DannyDear GOD, Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother. -LarryDear GOD, I want to be just like my Daddy when I get big, but not with so much hair all over. -SamDear GOD, I think the stapler is one of your goodest inventions. -Ruth M. Dear GOD, I bet it is very hard for You to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it. -NanDear GOD, If You watch me in church Sunday, I'll show You my new shoes. -Mickey D. Dear GOD, I would like to live 900 years like the guy in the Bible. Love, ChrisDear GOD, We read Thomas Edison made light. But in school they said You did it. So I bet he stoled your idea. Sincerely, Donna
= = = = = = = = = =
Easy to Remember Joke
There was a businesswoman who just made a million dollars for an Arabian Oil Sheik. When she was leaving the Oil Sheik offered her Diamonds and rubies and a Silver-plated Rolls Royce, but she declined. The Sheik insisted so she said that she just started to golf and maybe a set of golf clubs would be nice. A few weeks later she received a telegram from the sheik. So far I have bought you 3 golf clubs. I hope you aren't disappointed that only 2 of them have swimming pools. '
= = = = = = = = = =
Miscellaneous Joke
1) Stand on top of the high board and say you won't come down until your demands are met. 2) Tell the lifeguards that they aren't doing their jobs because you have seen at least 15 people kind of almost drown today. 3) Ask people if they have seen your pet shark. 4) Sit in the baby pool and play with the toys. 5) Take a flutter board and pretend you can't swim. 6) Hit strangers with your flutter board. 7) Ask an attractive lifeguard to practice CPR on you. 8) Sit in front of a water jet, make moaning sounds and say, 'Oh yeah. . oooh that feels soooo good. . ' 9) Sit on the top of the water slide and don't move. 10) Swim near someone and go 'Shoot! I knew I shouldn't have had so much lemonade before I came here. ' 11) Insist that you saw a monster at the bottom of the pool. 12) Pretend to drown and then when someone tries to help you, say 'HA HA, fooled you!' 13) Scream as someone is jumping off of a diving board. 14) Laugh at fat people in swimsuits. 15) Tell people you saw the lifeguard peeing in the pool. 16) Ask a lifeguard if skinny-dipping is allowed. 17) Try to negotiate the price of getting in. 18) Take a really long time when you are on top of the high dive and then act as though you were pushed off. 19) When in line, ask strangers if they think invisible people get a discount. 20) Take your towel, tie it around your shoulders and say 'Wheee! I'm Batman!' while running around. 21) Hit strangers with your wet towel. 22) Throw people's things into the pool. 23) Sing and dance on top of the diving board, then do a belly-flop as your grand-finale. 24) Play Marco-Polo by yourself. 25) Ask small children if they have seen any suspicious-looking sea monsters lately.
= = = = = = = = = =
Kids Puns
OPERATOR, WE'VE BEEN DISCONNECTED: Florida State Senator John McKay has resigned from the Senate Regulated Industries Committee, which oversees such monopolies as the phone company, after his wife charged in a divorce proceeding that McKay had been having an affair with the lobbyist for the Sprint telephone company. (AP) John, that's not what Ma Bell meant by 'Reach Out and Touch Someone'.
= = = = = = = = = =
Business Joke
A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. 'Tim, you be first. What does your mother do all day?' Tim stood up and proudly said, 'She's a doctor. ' 'That's wonderful. How about you, Amy?' Amy shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, 'My father is a mailman. ' 'Thank you, Amy' said the teacher. 'What does your parent do, Billy?' Billy proudly stood up and announced, 'Nothing. He's an economist. '
= = = = = = = = = =
Kids Puns
What's the difference between an English Sheepherder and Mick Jagger?Mick Jagger sings 'Hey, Hey, you, you , get off of my cloud. 'An English sheepherder says: 'Hey, Hey MacCloud! Get off of my ewe!'
= = = = = = = = = =
Love and Marriage Joke
The young immigrant couple had just left the courthouse after being sworn in as American citizens. 'It is wonderful, ' the husband exclaimed. 'We are American citizens at last! Do you know what this means to us my dear wife?' 'Yes, you male chauvinist pig, ' his wife replied. 'Tonight, you cook dinner!'
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
|
| |
|
