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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny secret santa and other funny jokes |
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Knock Knock Joke - 1
Knock Knock Who's there ! Alaska ! Alaska who ? Alaska my mummy !
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Law Enforcement Joke
Actual things that police officers have said . . . .
The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile. '
'Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven. '
'Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid. '
'If you run, you'll only go to jail tired. '
'So, you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?'
'No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want. '
'Just how big were those two beers?
'Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?'
'Warning! You want a warning? O. K. , I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket. '
'The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?'
'In God we trust, all others are suspects. '
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Fishing Joke
Why are gold fish orange ? The water makes them rusty !
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Car and train Joke
What driver doesn't have a license? A screw driver.
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Dumb Blonde Joke
Why are blonde jokes so short? So men can remember them!
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Dance Joke
Q. What do you call two line dancers doing the dance Shoot the Rooster? A. A Pair of Shoot (parachute)
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Internet Joke
What grows on the World Wide Web and stings? Internettles.
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Weirdest Joke
Two men were boasting to each other about their old army days. 'Why, my outfit was so well drilled, ' declared one, 'that when they presented arms all you could hear was slap, slap, click. ' 'Very good, ' conceded the other, 'but when my company presented arms you'd just hear slap, slap, jingle. ' 'What was the jingle?' asked the first. 'Oh, ' replied the other offhand, 'just our medals. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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