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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny resolutions and other funny jokes |
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Bumper Stickers - 5
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
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Bumper Stickers - 1
My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom
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Dinosaur Joke
Why don't more dinosaurs join the police force? They can't hide behind billboards.
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Joke Online
A guy was walking around the office Christmas party belting down drink after drink. But every ten or fifteen minutes, he reached into his shirt pocket, pulled something out, took a look at it, then put it back in his pocket. Finally, a friend came up to him and said, 'George, I've been watching you all night, and I have to ask. . . what's in your shirt pocket?''It's a picture of my wife. ''Why do you keep looking at it?''Because, ' George replied, 'When she finally starts looking good, it's time to go home. '
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Business Joke
An econometrician and an astrologer are arguing about their subjects. The astrologer says, 'Astrology is more scientific. My predictions come out right half the time. Yours can't even reach that proportion'. The econometrician replies, 'That's because of external shocks. Stars don't have those'.
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Miscellaneous Joke
A monsoon is a French gentleman. For asphyxiation, apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead. To keep milk from turning sour, keep it in the cow. Water vapor gets together in a big cloud. When it gets big enough to be called a drop, it does. Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they are there. A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go. The law of gravity says no fair jumping up without coming down. Rain is saved up in cloud banks. Someday we might discover magnets that can point in any direction. One of the main causes of dust is janitors. Blood circulates through the body by flowing down one leg and up the other. Genetics explains why you look like your father, and if you don't, why you should. There is a tremendous weight pushing down on the center of the earth because so many people are stomping around there these days. The word 'trousers' is an uncommon noun because it is singular at the top and plural at the bottom. There are 26 vitamins in all, but some of the letters are yet to be discovered. I'm not sure how clouds are formed, but clouds know how to do it, and that's the important thing. The cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.
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Humor Joke
How many librarians does it take to screw in a light bulb? 'I don't know, but I can look it up for you. '
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Police Joke
A client of a hospital where they made brain transplantations asked about the prices. The doctor said, 'Well, this Ph. D. brain costs $'10
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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