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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny reindeer and other funny jokes |
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Farmer Joke
An aged farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge of their pig-pen when the old woman wistfully recalled that the next week would mark their golden wedding anniversary. 'Let's have a party, Homer, ' she suggested. 'Let's kill a pig. ' The farmer scratched his grizzled head. 'Gee, Ethel, ' he finally answered, 'I don't see why the pig should take the blame for something that happened fifty years ago. '
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Joke for Kids
Q: Why did the Polish couple decide to have only 4 children?A: They'd read in the newspaper that one out of every five babies born in the world today is Chinese.
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Bumper Stickers - 3
Got Goth?
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Great Joke
Q: Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after ablonde drives a car?A: Cause she blows the horn!
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Snake Joke
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a python. Oh you can't get round me like that, you know.
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Father Joke
A postdoc, a grad student, and their professor are taking a walk outdoors during lunch when they come upon an old brass lamp. They pick it up and dust it off. Poof! Out pops a genie!
'Thank you for releasing me from my lamp-prison,' he says, 'I can grant
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Strange Humor
Children Books That Didn't Make It To The Press:Children Books You Won't Eever See. . . 1. . . You Are Different and That's Bad2. . . The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables3. . . Dad's New Wife Robert4. . . Fun four-letter Words to Know and Share5. . . Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An I-Can-Do-It Book6. . . The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking7. . . Kathy Was So Bad Her Mum Stopped Loving Her8. . . Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence9. . . All Cats Go to Hell!10. . . The Little Sissy Who Snitched11. . . Some Kittens Can Fly. 12. . . That's it, I'm Putting You Up for Adoption13. . . Grandpa Gets a Casket14. . . The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator15. . . Garfield Gets Feline Leukaemia16. . . The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy17. . . Strangers Have the Best Candy18. . . Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way19. . . You Were an Accident20. . . Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will21. . . Pop! Goes The Hamster. . . And Other Great Microwave Games22. . . The Man in the Moon Is Actually Satan23. . . Your Nightmares Are Real24. . . Where Would You Like to Be Buried?25. . . Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School26. . . Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?27. . . Places Where Mummy and Daddy Hide Neat Things28. . . Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
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Joke for Halloween
Well, how 'bout that?. . . I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions. You know Pumpkin, now that you're thirteen, you'll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won't that be fun? Here's a credit card and the keys to my new car-GO CRAZY. What do you mean you wanna play football? Figure skating not good enough for you, son? Your mother and I are going away for the weekend. . . you might want to consider throwing a party. Well, I don't know what's wrong with your car. Probably one of those doo-hickey thingies-you know-that makes it run or something. Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay whatever he asks. No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring now quit your belly-aching, and let's go to the mall. Whaddya wanna go and get a job for? I make plenty of money for you to spend. Father's Day? Aaahh-don't worry about that-it's no big deal
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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