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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny pumpkin faces and other funny jokes |
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Easy to Remember Joke
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define 'great' he said, 'I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!' He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
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Yo Mama Joke
yo mama's teeth so yellow that when she smiles everyone sings, 'i got sunshine on a cloudy day'. . . . .
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Mental health Joke
Two psychiatrists were walking down a hall. One turned to the other and said, 'Hello. ' The other one thought, 'I wonder what he meant by that. '
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Joke for Kids
A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer. 'Certainly, sir, that'll be 1 cent. ' 'ONE CENT - that's awesome!' exclaimed the guy. So the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks 'Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with the works?''Certainly, sir, 'replies the bartender, but all that comes to real money. ' 'How much money?' inquires the guy. '4 cents, ' replies the bartender. 'FOUR cents!' exclaims the guy. . . 'Where's the Guy who owns this place?'The bartender replies, 'Upstairs with my wife. ' The guy says, 'What's he doing with your wife?'The bartender replies. . . 'Same as I'm doing to his business!'
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Practical Joke
Q: What do you call a Canadian Baseball team?A: Foreigners.
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Instrument Joke
A cowboy and a biker are on death row, and are to be executed on the same day. The day comes, and they are brought to the gas chamber. The warden asks the cowboy if he has a last request, to which the cowboy replies, 'Ah shore do, wardn. Ah'd be mighty grateful if'n yoo'd play 'Achy Breaky Heart' fur me bahfore ah hafta go. ''Sure enough, cowboy, we can do that, ' says the warden. He turns to the biker, 'And you, biker, what's your last request?''That you kill me first. '
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Kids Puns
The hillbilly man and his new bride were on their honeymoon. The first night the hillbilly anxiously jumps into bed to wait for his wife to get herself ready for a little romance. His new bride comes out of the bathroom in a sexy negligee and says 'Honey, I have something to tell you. I'm a virgin. 'The man grabs his clothes and rushes out of the house yelling at the top of his lungs. He heads straight to his father's house. When he gets there his father says 'Son, what are you doing here? You're supposed to be on your honeymoon. 'The son, almost out of breath from his run to the house says 'Dad, my new wife told me a big secret of hers. She's a virgin!!!!''Damn son. You did the right thing by leaving. If she wasn't good enough for her family, she sure as hell isn't good enough for ours!'
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Office Humor
Why does Hellen Keller use one hand to masturbate?Because she uses the other to moan.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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