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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny pub team names and other funny jokes |
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Free Adult Joke
TO : ALL EMPLOYEES FR : MANAGEMENT SUBJECT : SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well-trained through out program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSY TRAINING (S. H. I. T. ). We are trying to give out employees more S. H. I. T. than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S. H. I. T. on the job, please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S. H. I. T. list, and out managers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S. H. I. T. you can handle. DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D. E. E. P. S. H. I. T. ). Those who fail to take D. E. E. P. S. H. I. T. seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E. A. T. S. H. I. T. ). Since our managers took S. H. I. T. before they were promoted, they don't have to take S. H. I. T. anymore, and are full of S. H. I. T. already. If you are full of S. H. I. T. , you may be interested in a job training others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B. U. L. L. S. H. I. T. ). Those who are full of B. U. L. L. S. H. I. T. will get the S. H. I. T. jobs, and can apply for promotion to the DIRECTOR OF EXTRA EMPLOYEE PROGRAMMING (D. E. E. P. S. H. I. T. ). If you have any further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TRAINING, SPECIAL HIGHT INTENSITY TRAINING (H. O. T. S. H. I. T. ). Thank you. BOSS IN GENERALSPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING(B. I. G. S. H. I. T. )
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Pig Joke
When pigs get a toothache, who do they see?' Painless Porker.
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Relationships Joke
An old man goes to a church, and is making a confession:Man: Father, I am 75 years old. I have been married for50 years. All these years I had been faithful to my wife, but yesterday I was intimate with an 18 year old. Father: When was the last time you made a confession?Man: I never have, I am Jewish. Father: Then why are telling me all this?Man: I am telling everybody . . .
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Totally Weird Joke
What's a man's worst nightmare?1) The Super Bowl is pre-empted by a soap opera. 2) His wife has amnesia and forgets how to cook so he has to. 3) A female boss. 4) He has to ask his wife for money.
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Knock Knock Joke - 3
Knock Knock Who's there ! Bush ! Bush who ? Bush your money where your mouth is !
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Simple Joke
From Harper's Magazine: Amount of pizza eaten each day in U. S. (acres): 75 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Found on the seal of a bag of bagels: NEW IMPROVED Made the old fashioned way -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sign in a restaurant: 'We reserve the right to serve refuse to anyone. ' Heard on a radio station. What did the female mushroom say about the male mushroom? 'He's a real fun guy [fungi]. ' Q: Ever wonder about people who pay $2 for a bottle of Evian water? A: Just spell 'Evian' backwards!
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Vampire Joke
Why do vampires hate arguments? Because they make themselves cross.
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Christmas Joke - 2
What's Tarzan's favourite Christmas song? Jungle bells.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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