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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny presents and other funny jokes |
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Dead and dying Joke
What is the difference between a musician and a dead body? One composes and the other decomposes.
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Cow Joke
Teacher: Name five things that contain milk. Pupil: Butter, cheese, ice cream . . . and two cows!
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Humorous Joke
What do you call an amorous insect? The love bug.
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Short Stupid Joke
An elderly woman goes to the doctor and asks his help to revive her Husband's sex drive. 'What about trying Viagra?' asks the doctor. Not a chance' says Mrs. Murphy. 'He won't even take an aspirin for a headache. ''No problem, ' replies the doctor. 'Drop it into his coffee, he won't even taste it. Try it and come back in a week to let me know how you got on. 'A week later Mrs. Murphy returns to the doctor and he inquires as to how things went. 'Oh it was terrible, just terrible doctor. 'What happened?' asks the doctor. 'Well I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee. The effect was immediate. He jumped straight up, swept the cutlery off the table, at the same time ripping my clothes off and then proceeded to make wild passionate love to me on the tabletop. It was terrible!'What was terrible?' said the doctor, 'Was the sex not good?'Oh no doctor, the sex was the best I've had in 25 years. . . but I'll never be able to show my face in McDonald's again!'
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Irish Joke
Michael Hoolihan was courting Frances Phelan. The young couple sat in the parlor of the girl's house night after night, much to the annoyance of old man Phelan. One night he couldn't take any more. Standing at the top of the stairs, he yelled down, 'What's that young fella doin' here all hours of the night?' 'Why, Dad, ' said Frances, 'Michael was just telling me everything that's in his heart!' 'Well, next time, ' roared Phelan, 'just let him tell you what's in his head, and it won't take half as long!'
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Joke for Holidays
THOR, the God of Love wakes up the morning after the orgy. As he sits up, stretches and looks around, he sees a beautiful, shapely, young blonde standing in the doorway. He walks over and says - 'Good morning, I'm THOR'!She looks back at him with blue eyes and a comely smiles and says - YOUR THOR. . . I'M SO THOR I CAN'T PITH!
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Pig Joke
What do you give a sick pig? Oinkment!
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Bar Joke - 2
Study Finds Sex, Pregnancy Link -Cornell Daily Sun, December '7
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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