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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny powerpoint slideshows and other funny jokes |
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Best Joke Online
'Hello. Tech Support; may I help you?' 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect. ''What sort of trouble?' 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away. ''Went away?' 'They disappeared. ''Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?' 'Nothing. ''Nothing?' 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type. ''Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?' 'How do I tell?'[Uh-oh. Well, let's give it a try anyway. ] 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?' 'What's a sea-prompt?'[Uh-huh, thought so. Let's try a different tack. ] 'Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?' 'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type. '[Ah--at least s/he knows what a cursor is. Sounds like a hardware problem. I wonder if s/he's kicked out his/her monitor's power plug?]'Does your monitor have a power indicator?' 'What's a monitor?''It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?' 'I don't know. ''Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?' [sound of rustling and jostling] [muffled] 'Yes, I think so. ''Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall. ' [pause] 'Yes, it is. '[Hmm. Well, that's interesting. I doubt s/he would have accidentally turned it off, and I don't want to send him/her hunting for the power switch because I don't know what kind of monitor s/he has and it's bound to have more than one switch on it. Maybe the video cable is loose or something. ] 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?''No. ''Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable. ' [muffled] 'Okay, here it is. ''Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer. ' [still muffled] 'I can't reach. ''Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?' [clear again] 'No. ''Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?' 'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle--it's because it's dark. ''Dark?' 'Yes--the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window. ''Well, turn on the office light then. ' 'I can't. ''No? Why not?' 'Because there's a power outage. ''A power--!?!' . . . [Archive of funny powerpoint slideshows and other funny jokesAAARGH!]'A power outage? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?' 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet. ''Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from. ''Really? Is it that bad?' 'Yes, I'm afraid it is. ''Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?''Tell them you're TOO STUPID TO OWN A COMPUTER!'
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Dirty Joke
This blonde and her boyfriend were sitting in a hot tub when the blonde said to her boyfriend, 'Is it true that if you pull your finger out, I'll sink?'
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Knock Knock Joke - 1
Knock Knock Who's there ? Cindy ! Cindy who ? Cindy next one in please !
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Just for Laughs Joke
Two blondes realize that their apartment is on fire and go out onto the balcony. 'Help, help!' yells one of the blondes. 'Help us, help us!' yells the other. 'Maybe it would help if we yelled together, ' said the first blonde. 'Good idea, ' said the other. 'Together, together!'
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Ethnic Joke - 2
Two Polish guys are discussing one's upcoming wedding. . . 'I'm not sure ifmy future bride is a virgin or not. 'His buddy replies, 'Oh, there's an easy test for that. All you need issome red paint, some blue paint and a shovel. You paint one ball red andone ball blue. On your honeymoon, if she laughs and says 'Those arethe funniest balls I've ever seen!' you hit her with the shovel!'
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Naughty Joke
A farmer had 3 beautiful daughters who were getting ready to go out on dates. The first beau came to the door and said, 'I'm Eddie, I'm here to pick up Betty. We're going for spaghetti, is she ready?' No. The second beau came to the door and said, 'I'm Joe, I'm here to pick up Flo to take her to the show. Is she ready to go?' No. The third beau came to the door and said to the farmer. 'Hello, my name is Chuck. 'The farmer shot Chuck.
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Blonde Joke - 3
Q: What is a blonde's definition of a naval destroyer? A: A hula hoop with a nail in it.
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Father Joke
The teacher told one of the bad dressers in our class to do something about his shirt tail hanging out. So he took off his pants.
It's hard to describe the clothing this one classmate of mine wears, but if you saw it running across your kitchen floor, yo
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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