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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny poker shirts and other funny jokes |
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Stand Up Joke
A guy driving a Yugo pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce. The driver of the Yugo rolls down his window and shouts to the driver of the Rolls, 'Hey, buddy, that's a nice car. You got a phone in your Rolls? I've got one in my Yugo!'The driver of Rolls looks over and says simply, 'Yes I have a phone. 'The driver of the Yugo says, 'Cool! Hey, you got a fridge in there too? I've got a fridge in the back seat of my Yugo!'The driver of the Rolls, looking annoyed, says, 'Yes, I have a refrigerator. 'The driver of the Yugo says, 'That's great, man! Hey, you got a TV in there, too? You know, I got a TV in the back seat of my Yugo!'The driver of the Rolls, looking very annoyed by now, says, 'Of course I have a television. A Rolls-Royce is the finest luxury car in the world!'The driver of the Yugo says, 'Very cool car! Hey, you got a bed in there, too? I got a bed in the back of my Yugo!'Upset that he did not have a bed, the driver of the Rolls-Royce sped away, and went straight to the dealer, where he promptly ordered that a bed be installed in the back of the Rolls. The next morning, the driver of the Rolls picked up the car, and the bed looked superb, complete with silk sheets and brass trim. It was clearly a bed fit for a Rolls Royce. So the driver of the Rolls begins searching for the Yugo, and he drove all day. Finally, late at night, he finds the Yugo parked, with all the windows fogged up from the inside. The driver of the Rolls got out and knocked on the Yugo. When there wasn't any answer, he knocked and knocked, and eventually the owner stuck his head out, soaking wet. 'I now have a bed in the back of my Rolls-Royce, ' the driver of the Rolls stated arrogantly!The driver of the Yugo looked at him and said, 'You got me out of the shower for that!'
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Ethnic Joke - 1
Q: Did you hear about the Irishman who went duck hunting?A: He didn't get any because he couldn't throw the dog high enough.
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Bumper Stickers - 1
I lost my virginity, but I still have the box it came in.
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Clinton Joke
Q: What's Clinton doing to make Americans happy? A: If you've paid your tax bill and have enough money left to feed your family--you're happy.
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Weird Women Joke
At a dinner party, several of the guests were arguing whether men or women were more trustworthy. 'No woman, ' said one man, scornfully, 'can keep a secret. ' 'I don't know about that, ' huffily answered a woman guest. 'I have kept my age a secret since I was twenty-one. ' 'You'll let it out some day, ' the man insisted. 'I hardly think so!' responded the lady. 'When a woman has kept a secret for twenty-seven years, she can keep itforever. '
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Top 100 Joke
These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country. Whatever Their motives, Moms Who Kill Kids still Shock Us: Holland Sentinal, date unknown. Survey Finds Dirtier Subways After Cleaning Jobs Were Cut: The New York Times, November 22 Larger Kangaroos Leap Farther, Researchers Find: The Los Angeles Times, November 2 'Light' meals are lower in fat, calories: Huntington Herald-Dispatch, November 30 Alcohol ads promote drinking: The Hartford Courant, November 18 Malls try to attract shoppers: The Baltimore Sun, October 22 Official: Only rain will cure drought: The Herald-News, Westpost, Massachusetts Teen-age girls often have babies fathered by men: The Sunday Oregonian, September 24 Low Wages Said Key to Poverty: Newsday, July 11
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Dumb Men Joke
Women dream of world peace, a safe environment, and eliminating hunger. What do men dream of?Being stuck in a lift with the Spice girls.
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Weird Women Joke
Politically Correct Feminine Terminology from aperreat@saunix. sau. edu: Have you ever wanted to talk about a girl but was afraid that youwould offend the person standing near you?. . . NOT. Well, if you are, thenhere are some alternatives to some popular phrases. I found them on a poster, but I don't remember which one. She is not: An airheadShe is: Reality ImpairedShe is not: A Bleached BlondShe is: Peroxide DependantShe is not: A babe or chickShe is: A Breasted AmericanShe does not have: Major league hootersShe is: Pectorally SuperiorShe does not have: A Great TanShe is: Pigmentally EnhancedYou do not want to: Score or pick her upYou want to: Attempt a Horizontal EncounterShe is not: A perfect 10She is: Numerically SuperiorShe does not have: A great buttShe has: A Superior PosteriorIf she does not want to get: Married or hitchedShe does not want: Domestic IncarcerationShe is not: Half nakedShe is: Wardrobe ImpairedShe does not have: A perfect bodyShe is: Anatomically GiftedShe is not: Drunk or tipsyShe is: Chemically InconveniencedShe is not: Small or shortShe is: Vertically Challenged
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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