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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny plaques and other funny jokes |
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Salesmen Joke
What do you have to know to be a real estate salesman? Lots.
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Naughty Joke
How is pubic hair like parsley?You push it to the side before you start eating.
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Face Joke
A little boy came running into the kitchen. 'Dad, dad, ' he said, 'there's a monster at the door with a really ugly face. ' 'Tell him you've already got one, ' said his father.
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Medicine Joke
A construction worker goes to the doctor and says, 'Doc, I'm constipated. 'The doctor examines him for a minute and then says, 'Lean over the table. 'The construction worker leans over the table, the doctor whacks him on the ass with a baseball bat, and then sends him into the bathroom. He comes out a few minutes later and says, 'Doc, I feel great. What should I do?'The doctor says, 'Stop wiping with cement bags. '
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Naughty Joke
Nancy Reagan is the celebrity contestant on Password. It's her turn to guess the word. Voice Over: And the password is. . . black dick! Nancy: Um. . . is it a place? Her partner: No. Nancy: Is it a person? Her partner: No. Nancy: Hmm, then it must be a thing. Um, is it something Imight want to eat? Her partner, exasperated: Well, I dunno, maybe. Nancy: Is it black dick?
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Cow Joke
What do you call a bull That's sent overseas by boat? Shipped beef!
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Fun Joke
How to hunt elephants -- Lawyer's styleLawyers don't hunt elephants, but they do follow the herdsaround arguing about who owns the droppings. Softwarelawyers will claim that they own an entire herd based on thelook and feel of one dropping. Sent by Alex
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Joke for Speeches
Q: Why are married women heavier than single women?A: Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge. Q: How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?A: Both of them. Q: Why did the man cross the road?A: He heard the chicken was a slut. Q: Why don't women blink during foreplay?A: They don't have time. Q: Why does it take 1 million sperm cells to fertilize one egg?A: They won't stop to ask directions. Q: What do men and sperm have in common?A: They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being. Q: How does a man show that he is planning for the future?A: He buys two cases of beer. Q: What is the difference between men and government bonds?A: The bonds mature. Q: Why are blonde jokes so short?A: So men can remember them. Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?A: We don't know; it has never happened. Q: Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?A: They all already have boyfriends. Q: What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?A: A Widow. Q: How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?A: His hand caught fire. Q: How do you get a man to do sit-ups?A: Put the remote control between his toes. Q: What did God say after creating Adam?A: I must be able to do better than that. Q: What did God say after creating Eve?A: 'Practice makes perfect. 'Q: How are men and parking spots alike?A: Good ones are always taken. Free ones are mostly handicapped or extremely small. Q: What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?A: They are married. Man says to God: 'God, why did you make woman so beautiful?'God says: 'So you would love her. ''But God, ' the man says, 'why did you make her so dumb?'God says: 'So she would love you. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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