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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny picture quiz and other funny jokes |
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Cow Joke
What would you hear at a cow concert? Moo-sic!
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Dog Joke - 2
Q: When's the best time to take your doberman pinscher for a walk? - A: Anytime he wants to go.
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Computer Joke
Five cannibals get appointed as programmers in an IT company. During the welcoming ceremony the boss says: 'You're all part of our team now. You can earn good money here, and you can go to the company canteen for something to eat. So don't trouble the other employees. ' The cannibals promise not to trouble the other employees. Four weeks later the boss returns and says: 'You're all working very hard, and I'm very satisfied with all of you. One of our cleaners has disappeared however. Do any of you know what happened to her?' The cannibals disavow all knowledge of the missing cleaner. After the boss has left, the leader of the cannibals says to the others: 'Which of you idiots ate the cleaner?' A hand raises hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals says: 'You fool! For four weeks we've been eating Team Leaders, Managers, and Project Managers so no-one would notice anything, and you have to go and eat the cleaner!'
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Science Joke
Question: What is the most popular pick up line in a gay bar? Answer: Can I push your stool in?
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School Joke
Mother: 'Why are you home from school so early?' Son: 'I was the only one who could answer a question. ' Mother: 'Oh, really? What was the question? Son: 'Who threw the eraser at the principal?'
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Movie and TV Joke
The producer of a low budget film is trying to convince the newly hired director of the quality of the work by telling him the big names they've gotten for the cast. 'First of all, ' he tells him, 'We've got Gibson in the lead. ' The director is surprised, 'You got Mel Gibson?' 'Well, no, ' the Producer responds, 'we got Marvin Gibson, he's a distant cousin who lives in Queens, but he's very up and coming. And besides, we've also got Redford. ' 'You got Robert Redford?' the director asks. 'No, we got Jeremy Redford, but he's very talented and has lots of acting experience from years of dinner theater. But, ' he says enthusiastically, ' we've got Streisand and in a singing role. ' 'Barbara Streisand?' he asks. 'No, Elizabeth Streisand. ' The Producer responds. 'But she's got a great voice. AND we've got Goulet. ' 'You got Robert Goulet?' the director asks. 'Yeah, ' the producer replies glumly, 'we got Robert Goulet. '
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Computer Joke
10. You ticked him off once and your next phone bill was $20,000. 9. He's won the Publisher's Clearing House sweepstakes three years running. 8. When asked for his phone number, he gives it in hex. 7. Seems strangely calm whenever the office LAN goes down. 6. Somehow he/she gets HBO on his PC at work. 5. Mumbled, 'Oh, puh-leeez' 95 times during the movie 'The Net' 4. Massive RRSP contribution made in half-cent increments. 3. Video dating profile lists 'public-key encryption' among turn-ons 2. When his computer starts up, you hear, 'Good Morning, Mr. President. ' 1. You hear him murmur, 'Let's see you use that Visa card now, jerk. '
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Stupid Blonde Joke
Q: How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?
A: She fell out of the tree.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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