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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny picture maker and other funny jokes |
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Dumb Blonde Joke
Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blondes head?
A: A Space Invader.
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Computer Joke
A doctor, a civil engineer, and a computer scientist were arguing about what was the oldest profession in the world. The doctor remarked 'Well, in the Bible it says that God created Eve from a rib taken from Adam. This clearly required surgery so I can rightly claim that mine is the oldest profession in the world. ' The civil engineer interrupted and said 'But even earlier in the book of Genesis, it states that God created the order of the heavens and the earth from out of the chaos. This was the first and certainly the most spectacular application of civil engineering. Therefore, fair doctor, you are wrong; mine is the oldest profession in the world. ' The computer scientist leaned back in his chair, smiled, and said confidently, 'Ah, but who do you think created the chaos?
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Irish Joke
Monahan stumbled into a saloon, half crocked. 'Say, ' he said to the bartender, 'how tall is a penguin?' 'About two and a half feet. ' 'Thank God!' cried Monahan. 'I thought I ran over a nun!'
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Rabbit Joke
What did the bunny say when he only had thistles to eat? Thistle have to do!
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Book title Joke
How to Diet Successfully by M. T. Cupboard
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Joke Online
Ed and Fred were flying along when the two idiots crash-landed on a desert island. 'What should we do?', said Ed. 'Hmmm, let's think. ', replied Fred. Ed shook his head, 'No, let's do something you can do too!'
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Real Life Joke
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. New York, NYPolice across the nation are warning people who wear pagers to be on the lookout for the latest scam. According to police, pagers in several states have been beeped by a number displaying a 212 area code (New York) and the prefix 540. When the victims return the call, they are charged $55 on their phone bill. The call the respondent makes has been electronically linked into a 900 'pay-per-call' system which allows the charge to be added to the phone bill. 'People will look at the number and say 'Gee, who is calling me from out of state? It must be important, '' said an investigator.
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Joke Online
I'm glad I'm a woman, yes I am, yes I am I don't live off of Budweiser, beer nuts and Spam I don't brag to my buddies about my erections I won't drive to Hell before I ask for directions I don't get wasted at parties and act like a clown and I know how to put the damned toilet seat down!I won't grab your hooters, I won't pinch your butt my belt buckle's not hidden beneath my beer gut and I don't go around 'readjusting' my crotch or yell like Tarzan when my head-board gets a notch I don't belch in public, I don't scratch my behindI'm a woman you see -- I'm just not that kind! I'm glad I'm a woman, I'm so glad I could sing I don't have body hair like shag carpeting It doesn't grow from my ears or cover my back When I lean over you can't see 3 inches of crackAnd what's on my head doesn't leave with my comb I'll never buy a toupee to cover my dome Or have a few hairs pulled from over the sideI'm a woman, you know -- I've got far too much pride! And I honestly think its a privilege for me to have these two boobs and squat when I pee I don't live to play golf and shoot basketball I don't swagger and spit like a Neanderthal I won't tell you my wife just does not understand stick my hand in my pocket to hide that gold band or tell you a story to make you sigh and weep then screw you, roll over and fall sound asleep!Yes, I'm glad I'm a woman, a woman you see you can forget all about that old penis envy I don't long for male bonding, I don't cruise for chicks join the Hair Club For Men, or think with my dick I'm a woman by chance and I'm thankful it's true I'm so glad I'm a woman and not a man like you!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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