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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny pens and other funny jokes |
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Joke for Holidays
There is is this guy and he has three mistresses. Well, he decides that he only wants to have one, so he has to choose. He decides on a way to choose by giving them each $150 and telling them to go off and spend it how they see fit. The first girl comes back and announces that she has spent the $150 on a complete makeover and new hair-do. The guy thinks that is really nice. The second girl comes back and announces that she has spent the $150 on a new see through nightie. The guy thinks that is really nice too. The third girl comes back and puts a wad of money onto the table in front of him. 'What's this ?' he asks. The girl explains that she has taken the $150 and invested it and made $2000 with it. The guy is really impressed by this but now he has to go away and decide who he will keep. So who do you think he picks ????? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?The one with the biggest BOOBS, of course!
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Village Idiot Joke
Two friends are shopping in a drugstore when one of them tells the other, 'My husband says this brand here is the most effective ointment for hemorrhoids on the market today. ''How does he know this for sure though?' asked the other woman. 'Because besides being my husband who thinks he's always right, he's also an asshole himself. '
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Weather Joke
If a farmer raises wheat in dry weather, what does he raise in wet weather? An umbrella.
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Blonde Joke - 3
Q: Why couldn't the blonde write the number ELEVEN ? A: She didn't know what ONE came first. . .
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Insect Joke
One woodworm met another. 'How's life?' she asked. 'Oh, same as usual, ' he replied, 'boring. '
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Legal Humor
Two men are meeting on the street. 'It was very cold this morning. ''How cold was it?'I do not no exactly, but I saw a lawyerwith his hands in his own pockets. '
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Love and Marriage Joke
Curious when I found two black-and-white negatives in a drawer, I had them made into prints. I was pleasantly surprised to see that they were of a younger, slimmer me, taken on one of my first dates with my husband.
When I showed him the photos, his face lit up. 'Wow, look at that!' he said with appreciation. 'It's my old Plymouth!'
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Letter Joke
Teacher: Frd, give me a sentence starting with 'I. ' Fred: I is . . . Teacher: No, Fred. You must always say 'I am. ' Fred: Oh, right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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