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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny peculiar southwell and other funny jokes |
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Farmer Joke
A bus load of politicians were driving down a country road one afternoon, when all of a sudden, the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field. Seeing what happened, the old farmer went over to investigate. He then proceeded to dig a hole and bury the politicians. A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus, and asked the old farmer, 'Were they all dead?' The old farmer replied, 'Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them politicians lie. '
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Love and Marriage Joke
Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries. Father: That happens everywhere, son, everywhere!
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Aviation Joke
McNally was taking his first plane ride, flying over the Rocky Mountains. The stewardess handed him a piece of chewing gum. 'It's to keep your ears from popping at high altitudes, ' she explains. When the plane landed McNally rushed up to her. 'Miss, ' he said, 'I'm meetin' me wife right away. How do I get the gum out of me ears?'
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Kids Joke
One day in class the teacher has sex education. On the black board she drawsa penis then asks the class if any of them knows what it is. In the back ofthe room, Dirty Johnny stands and says 'That's a penis, and my father has twoof them'. The teacher looks surprised and asks 'What do you mean, two?'DirtyJohnny responds, 'A little one to pee, and a big one to brush the baby sittersteeth. '
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College Humor
A doctor, a lawyer and a mathematician were discussing the relative merits of having a wife or a mistress. The lawyer says, 'For sure a mistress is better. If you have a wife and want a divorce, it causes all sorts of legal problems. The doctor says, 'It's better to have a wife because the sense of security lowers your stress and is good for your health. The mathematician says, 'You're both wrong. It's best to have both so that when the wife thinks you're with the mistress and the mistress thinks you're with your wife, you can do some mathematics.
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Birthday Joke
I guess I didn't get my birthday wish. 'How do you know?' 'You're still here!'
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At Work Joke
Now I understand what marketing is:You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You approach her and tell her: 'I am very good in bed'. That is Direct Marketing. You are at a party with a group of friends and you see a very pretty girl. One of your friends approaches her and tells her: 'That guy over there is very good in bed'. That is Advertising. You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You ask for her phone number. The following day you call her and tell her: 'I am very good in bed'. That is Telemarketing . You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You recognize her, you approach her and refresh her memory by telling her: 'Do you remember how good I am in bed?' That is Customer Relationship Management. You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You get up, fix your tie, pour her a drink, open the door for her, pick up her bag when it falls and you tell her: 'I am very good in bed'. That is Public Relations. You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. She approaches you and tells you: 'I heard you are very good in bed'. That is BRANDING!!
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Mom Joke
An angry mother took her son to the doctor and asked, 'Is a nine-year-old boy able to perform appendectomy?'
'Of course not,' the doctor said impatiently.
The mother turned to her son and said, 'What did I tell you? Now put it back. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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