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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny pc wallpapers and other funny jokes |
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Funny Kids Joke
Why did the elephant walk on two feet?To give the ants a chance!Why do elephants have trunks?Because they've no pockets to put things in!Why did the elephant jump in the lake when it began to rain?To stop getting wet!What do elephants do in the evenings?Watch elevision!How to elephants talk to each other?By 'elephone!What did the zoo keeper say when he saw four elephants walking over the hill towards him wearing sunglasses?Nothing, he didn't recognize them!When do elephants have 8 feet?When there are two of them!What did the elephant say to the famous detective?It's ele-mentary, my dear Sherlock!Zoo Keeper:'I've lost one of my elephants'Other Zoo Keeper:'Why don't you put an advert in the paper?'Zoo Keeper:'Don't be silly, he can't read!' What do you do if you find a blue elephant?Try and cheer him up!
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Movie and TV Joke
Q: How many editors does it take to change a light bulb? A: If we change the light bulb, we'll have to change everything.
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School Joke
Boy to Friend: I'm sorry, I won't be able to go out after school. I promised Dad that I would stay in and help him with my homework.
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Knock Knock Joke - 2
Knock Knock Who's there ! Amanda ! Amanda who ? Amanda the table!
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Joke for Halloween
A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter in a dept. store and asks -'W-w-w-where`s the m-m-m-men`s dep-p-p-partment?'The clerk behind the counter just looks at him and says nothing. The man repeats himself: 'W-w-w-where`s the m-m-m-men`s dep-p-p-partment?'Again, the clerk doesn`t answer him. The guy asks several more times: 'W-w-w-where`s the m-m-m-men`s dep-p-p-partment?' And the clerk just seems to ignore him. Finally, the guy is angry and storms off. The customer who was waiting in line behind the guy asks the clerk, 'why wouldn`t you answer that guy's question?'The clerk answers, 'D-d-d-do you th-th-th-think I w-w-w-want to get b-b-b-beat up?!!'
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Cow Joke
What do you call a tired cow? Milked out!
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Foreigners Joke
The Pope and Queen Elizabeth were standing on a balcony beaming at thousands of people in the forecourt below. The Queen says to the Popeout of the corner of her mouth, 'I bet you a tenner that I can makeevery English person in the crowd go wild with just a wave of my hand. 'The Pope says, 'No way. You can't do that. 'The Queen says, 'Watch this. 'So the Queen waves her hand and every English person in the crowd goes crazy, waving their little plastic Union Jacks on sticks and cheering, basically going ballistic. So the Pope is standing there thinking, 'Uh oh, what am I going to do?I never thought she'd be able to do it. 'So he thinks to himself for a minute and then he turns to her and says, 'I bet you I can make every Irish person in the crowd go wild, not just now, but for the rest of the week, with just one nod of my head. 'The Queen goes, 'No way, it can't be done. 'So the Pope headbutts her.
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Joke for Kids
A Polak was jumped by two muggers and fought like hell, but was finally subdued. His attackers then proceeded to go through his pockets. 'You mean you fought like that for 57 cents?' asked one of the muggers incredulously. 'Is that all you wanted?' moaned the Pole. 'I thought you were after the $400 in my shoe!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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