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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny party themes and other funny jokes |
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Insect Joke
What happened when the chef found a daddy long legs in the salad ? It became a daddy short legs !
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Dog Joke - 1
What do you get if you cross a giraffe with a dog ? An animal that barks at low flying aircraft !
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Law Enforcement Joke
When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 55 at least. 'You're wrong, officer, it's only my hat that makes me look that old. '
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Priceless Joke
John was a clerk in a small drugstore but he was not much of a salesman. He could never find the item the customer wanted. Bob, the owner, had about enough and warned John that the next sale he missed would be his last. Just then a man came in coughing and he ask John for their best cough syrup. Try as he might John could not find the cough syrup. Remembering Bob's warning he sold the man a box of Ex-Lax and told him to take it all at once. The customer did as John said and then walked outside and leaned against a lamp post. Bob had seen the whole thing and came over to ask John what had transpired. 'He wanted something for his cough but I couldn't find the cough syrup. I substituted Ex-Lax and told him to take it all at once' John explained. 'Ex-Lax won't cure a cough!' Bob shouted angrily. 'Sure it will' John said, pointing at the man leaning on the lamp post. 'Just look at him. He's afraid to cough!'
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Divorce Joke
Staring down from the bench to announce the terms of the divorce decree, the judge turned to the husband and said: 'I'm going to award her alimony in the amount of $250 a month. ' To which the woman's about-to-be ex replied: 'That's mighty kind of you, judge. I'll try to help her all I can, too. '
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Various animal Joke
What do you get if you cross a skunk and a cartoon penguin? Pingu-Pong!
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Bible Joke
God looks down and notices that Adam is all alone while all the animals have companions, so he decides to create a companion for man as well. He comes to see Adam and says to him, 'Adam, you are my greatest creation and therefore, I am going to create for you the ultimate companion. She will worship the very ground you walk on, she will long for you and no other, she will be highly intelligent, she will wait on you hand and foot and obey your every command, she will be beautiful, and all it will cost you is an arm and a leg. ' Thinking for a few moments, Adam replies, 'What could I get for a rib?'
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Elephant Joke
It was a boring Sunday afternoon in the jungle so the Elephants decided to challenge the Ants to a game of soccer. The game was going well with the Elephants beating the Ants ten goals to nil, when the Ants gained possession. The Ants' star player was dribbling the ball towards the Elephants' goal when the Elephants' left back came lumbering towards him. The elephant trod on the little ant, killing him instantly. The referee stopped the game. 'What the hell do you think you're doing? Do you call that sportsmanship, killing another player?' The elephant replied, 'Well, I didn't mean to kill him -- I was just trying to trip him up. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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