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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny pajamas and other funny jokes |
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Sport Joke
What did the footballer say when he accidentally burped during a game?Sorry, it was a freak hic! Why are football grounds odd?Because you can sit in the stands but can't stand in the sits! What do you get if you drop a piano on a team's defence?A flat back four! Why did the goal post get angry?Because the bar was rattled! What is the bank manager's favourite type of football?Fiver side! What part of a football ground is never the same?The changing rooms! What should a football team do if the pitch is flooded?Bring on their subs!
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School Joke for Kids
A man came home drunk at four in the morning, and his wife was all over him, yelling at him, crying because she thought he was with another woman. 'No, honey, I swear, I was at this bar, and it was so fancy that even the urinals were made of GOLD!'She said she didn't believe him, so she called the bar. 'Hello, ' she said, 'I just want to ask one question. My husband claims to have spent the night at your bar and I have one question; are your urinals covered in gold?'To which she heard the bartender say, 'Hey, Clarence, - I think we found the guy who pissed in your saxophone!'
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Marriage Joke
Three men died and stood in front of God.
God asked the first if he had been faithful to his wife. He admitted to two affairs during his marriage. God gave him a compact car to drive in heaven.
The second man admitted to only one affair and was given a midsize car.
The third man was asked the same question and said that he had been faithful to his wife until the day he died. God praised him and gave him a big luxury car.
A week later the three guys met in a parking lot. The man driving the luxury car began to cry.
'What's the matter?'
'I just passed my wife, and she was riding a bike!'
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Barbie doll Joke
There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Marie Antionette Barbie . . . with removable head; guillotine included
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Bar Joke - 1
So this guy walks into a bar with his 10 foot tall giraffe. Despite the strange stares from the other bar occupants, they proceed to drink themselves silly.
After about a dozen drinks, the giraffe stands up and then keels over. At this his companion stands up as well, settles his bar bill and starts to walk out of the bar. The bartender shouts, 'Hey idiot, you can't leave that lyin' here!'
But the man replies, 'You're the idiot. . . that's a giraffe, not a lion!'
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Answer me this Joke
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
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Worst Joke
Doctor: What seems to be the trouble? Patient: Doctor, I keep getting the feeling that nobody can hear what I say. Doctor: What seems to be the trouble?
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Dumb Blonde Joke
Why did the blonde climb the glass wall?To see what was on the other side.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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