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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny or die landlord and other funny jokes |
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Beauty Joke
My Mother uses lemon juice for her complexion. Maybe that is why she always looks so sour.
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Doctor and nurse Joke
What's the difference between a surgeon and a puppy? If you put a puppy in a room by itself for an hour, it'll probably stop whining.
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Stand Up Joke
'Similarities between presidents Richard Nixon and Bill Clinton':Nixon: Watergate Clinton: Water BedNixon: His biggest fear: the Cold War Clinton: His biggest fear: a Cold SoreNixon: Carpet bombing Clinton: Carpet burnsNixon: His Vice President was a Greek Clinton: His Vice President is a geekNixon: Couldn't stop Kissinger Clinton: Couldn't stop kissing herNixon: Couldn't explain the 18-minute gap in the Watergate tape Clinton: Couldn't explain the 38-DD bra in his briefcaseNixon: His nickname was Tricky Dick Clinton: No differenceNixon: Ex-President Clinton: Sex-PresidentNixon: Known for campaign slogan 'Nixon's The One' Clinton: Know for women pointing at him and say 'He's the one'Nixon: Famous for his widow's peak Clinton: Famous for bringing widows to their peakNixon: Well acquainted with G. Gordon Liddy Clinton: Well acquainted with G SpotNixon: Talked about achieving peace with honor Clinton: Talked of getting a piece while on her
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Telephone Joke
Why is an engaged girl like a telephone? Because they both have rings.
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Insect Joke
Why are spiders like tops ? They are always spinning !
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Worlds Best Joke
A black couple we're invited to a Halloween party and were trying to decide what to dress up as. The wife says, 'how about Hanzel and Gretel?'Nah. . . they were white, her husband replied. Ok, how about Raggedy Ann and Andy?No way! They're white too and have huge ugly freckles!So the wife tells her husband to think of something since he always has a smart remark for her choices. So he thinks a bit and then pops up - ' I got it! '. We'll go as Heshey Bars!'Heshey bars?' replies his wife. . . 'are you nuts!'Exactly! One with nuts, and one without!
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Clean Humor
Ever notice how so many of women's problems can be traced to the male gender?MENstruation, MENopause, MENtal breakdown, GUYnecology, HIMmorrhoids. . .
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Dog Joke - 1
What do you call a boring dog?
A dull-mation!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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