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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny number plates and other funny jokes |
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Elephant Joke
How do you make an elephant sandwich? First of all, you get a very large loaf. . .
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Funny Kids Joke
Why don't elephants like playing cards in the jungle?Because of all the cheetahs!What do you call a elephant that never washes?A smellyphant!Teacher: 'Where would you find an elephant?'Pupil:'You don't have to find them, they're too big to lose!' What do you call an elephant with a carrot in each ear?Anything you want as he can't hear you!Teacher:'To which family does the elephant belong?'Pupil:'I don't know, nobody I know owns one!' How do you spell elephant?E-l-l-e-e-f-a-n-t'That's not how the dictionary spells it''You didn't ask me how the dictionary spelt it!' Teacher: 'Name six wild animals'Pupil:'Four elephants and two lions!' What do you call an elephant that lies across the middle of a tennis court?Annette!Bill: 'My homework is really difficult tonight, I've to write an essay on an elephant. '?Bert: 'Well, for a start your going to need a big ladder. . ' Why do elephants do well in school?Because they have a lot of grey matter!
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Bumper Stickers - 6
My other toy has tits.
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Children Joke
Henry Abel's son, David, burst into the house, crying like everything. His Mama asked him what the problem was. 'Pop and I were fishing, and he hooked a giant fish. Really big. Then, while reeling it in, the line busted and the fish got away. ' 'Now come on, David, ' his mother said, 'a big boy like you shouldn't be crying about an accident like that. You should have laughed. ' 'That's what I did, Mama. '
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Miscellaneous Joke
10 reasons why a dog doesn`t use a computer:10. T0o0p hqa5rxd 6tt0[o 6ty[p3e 2w9igtjh;pa3wds (It`s hard to type with paws)9. 'Sit' and 'stay' were hard enough; 'delete' and 'save' are out of the question. 8. Saliva-coated floppy disks refuse to work. 7. Carpal Paw Syndrome. 6. Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway he`s browsing www. purina. com or the '50 ways to skin a cat' sites. 5. Fire hydrant icon simply frustrates. 4. Can`t help attacking the screen when he hears, 'you`ve got mail'. 3. Too messy to mark every Web site he visits. 2. Fetch command not available on all platforms. 1. Can`t stick his head out of Windows XP.
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Various animal Joke
What powerful reptile is found in the Sydney opera house ? The Lizard of Oz !
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Bed Joke
Why did the bed spread? Because it saw the pillow slip.
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Christmas Joke - 1
Jones: 'The chinese make it an invariable rule to settle all their debts on New Year's Day. 'Smith: 'So I understand, but, then again, the Chinese don't have a Christmas the week before!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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