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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny noises and other funny jokes |
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Doctor Joke
He calls you at two in the morning 'just to talk. '
- Instead of rubber surgical gloves he wears oven mitts.
- He keeps accidentally referring to himself as 'the defendant. '
- He thinks Eastern Medicine was developed in Long Island.
- He keeps accidentally referring to your legs as 'drumsticks. '
- His examination room is Room 201 at the No-Tell Motel.
- He introduces you to his anesthesiologist, 'Doctor Jim Beam. '
- Before surgery, he asks if you want this 'to go. '
- He tries to color your X-rays with crayons.
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Bumper Stickers - 6
Never eat more than you can lift.
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Kids Puns
Yo momma so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out.
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Criminal Joke
A woman woke her husband in the middle of the night. 'There's a burglar downstairs eating the cake that I made this morning. ' 'Who shall I call, ' her husband asked, 'police or ambulance?'
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Heaven and hell Joke
An accountant dies and goes to Heaven. He is met by St Peter who goes through the usual questionnaire. 'What sort of accountant are you?' says St Peter 'Public Practitioner, ' is the reply. 'Name?' He gives his name. St Peter goes through some files and pulls one out. 'Oh, yes. We've been expecting you. You've reached your allotted span, ' says St Peter. 'How can that be?' says the accountant. 'I'm too young to go. I'm only forty-eight' 'No, That's impossible. ' 'Why do you say that?' 'Well we've been looking at your time sheets and the hours you've charged your clients. By our reckoning you're at least ninety three. '
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Dinosaur Joke
Q: What was the most flexiest dinosaur? A: Tyrannosaurus Flex.
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Zoo Joke
A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence. He was out the next morning, just roaming around the zoo. A twenty-foot fence was put up. Again he go out. When the fence was forty feet high, a camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo, 'How high do you think they'll go?' The kangaroo said, 'About a thousand feet, unless somebody locks the gate at night!'
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College Humor
Q. What does a sign on a whorehouse say in the middle of the day?A. Beat it - we're closed.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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