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5QS |
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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny newspaper adverts and other funny jokes |
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Music Joke
Q: What do you call a person who plays the viola? A: A violator.
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Dirty Joke
Q: What do you call 4 blondes laying on the beach? A: Public access.
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Cop Joke
A judge grew tired of seeing the same town drunk in front of his bench. One day the judge glared down at the man, who was still intoxicated, and thundered 'It is the sentence of this court that you be taken from here to a place of execution and there hanged by the neck until DEAD. 'The drunk promptly fainted. The court bailiff commenced to reviving the man, and looked up at the judge, at which time the judge shrugged and responded 'I've always wanted to do that. '
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History Joke
When did Caesar reign ? I didn't know he reigned. Of course he did, didn't they hail him ?
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Dirty Joke
An old man approaches the window of a cinema with a chicken on his shoulder, and asks for 2 tickets. The girl at the counter wants to know who is going in with him. He replies, 'Well, my pet chicken, of course!' 'I'm sorry, ' The girl tells him. 'We can't allow animals in the cinema. ' The man goes around the corner and stuffs the chicken into his trousers. He returns to the window, buys his ticket and goes in. Inside the cinema, the chicken starts to get hot and begins to squirm, so the man unzips his trousers so the chicken can stick it's head out and watch the film. Seated next to him is a woman. She looks over at his lap and is horrified. She elbows her friend Agnes and whispers, 'Agnes, this man over here has just unzipped his trousers!' Agnes whispers back, 'Oh, don't worry about it. . . you've seen one, you've seen them all. ' Madge says, 'I KNOW. . . but this one's eating my POPCORN!!'
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Bumper Stickers - 1
Are you stoned or just stupid?
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Firefighter Joke
A man calls the fire department and says, 'Yes, I have just had my front yard landscaped, I have a nice new flower bed, a new fish pond with a fountain and a new rose garden. ' 'Very nice, ' the firefighter says, 'but what does that have to do with the fire service?' 'Well, ' the man answers, 'the house next door is on fire and I don't want you to trample my front yard. '
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Warped Humor Joke
Q: Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door? A: To win the no-bell prize.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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