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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny newsletters and other funny jokes |
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Easy to Remember Joke
A dumb Blonde died and went to Heaven. When she got to the Pearly Gates, she met Saint Peter who said, 'Before you get to come into Heaven, you have to pass a test. ''Oh, No!' she said but Saint Peter said not to worry he'd make it easy. 'Who was God's son?' said Saint Peter. The dumb Blonde thought for a few minutes and said, 'Andy!''That's interesting. . . What made you say that?' said Saint PeterThen She started to sing: 'Andy walks with me! Andy talks with me! Andy tells me. . . '
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Ghost Joke
Why was the ghost of Anne Boleyn always running after the ghost of Henry VIII ? She was trying to get ahead !
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Movie and TV Joke
After a difficult day a struggling actor returns to his neighborhood and is shocked to find a cadre of police and fire trucks surrounding the smoldering remains of his house. Explaining who he was he asks 'What happened?' 'Well, ' one of the officer's says, 'It seems that your agent came by your house earlier today and while he was here he attacked your wife, assaulted your children, beat your dog and burned your house to the ground. ' The actor is struck speechless, his jaw hanging open in disbelief. . . 'My agent came to my house?'
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Law Enforcement Joke
The sheriff of a small town was also the town's veterinarian. One night the phone rang, and his wife answered. An agitated voice inquired, 'Is your husband there?' 'Do you require his services as a sheriff or as a vet?' the wife asked. 'Both!' was the reply. 'We can't get our dog's mouth open, and there's a burglar in it. '
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Elderly People Joke
A little old lady gets onto a crowded bus and stands in front of a seated young girl. Holding her hand to her chest, she says to the girl, 'If you knew what I have, you would give me your seat. ' The girl gets up and gives up her the seat to the old lady. It is hot. The girl then takes out a fan and starts fanning herself. The woman looks up and says, 'If you knew what I have, you would give me that fan. ' The girl gives her the fan, too. Fifteen minutes later the woman gets up and says to the bus driver, 'Stop, I want to get off here. ' The bus driver tells her he has to drop her at the next corner, not in the middle of the block. With her hand across her chest, she tells the driver, 'If you knew what I have, you would let me off the bus right here. ' The bus driver pulls over and opens the door to let her out. As she's walking out of the bus, he asks, 'Madam, what is it you have?'The old woman looks at him and nonchalantly replies, 'Chutzpah. '
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Police Joke
One Day Stupid, Trouble, and Shut Up were driving along in their car when Trouble suddenly hurled himself out of the window. Well, Stupid and Shut Up did not know what to do so they went to the police station. When they got there the chief asked them their names. 'Shut Up', replied Shut Up. 'Stupid', replied Stupid. The police chief thought these people were telling him to shut up, and were calling him stupid. Which made him very mad. 'Excuse Me!' shouted the chief. Thinking the chief was hard of hearing, They once again shouted there names. 'Shut Up!''Stupid!'The police chief was very riled. He then asked' Are you looking for trouble?'!!!Stunned at the idea of the chief knowing that they were looking for their friend, they replied, 'Why yes, how did you know?'
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Knock Knock Joke - 2
Knock Knock Who's there ! An author ! An author who ? An author joke like this and I'm off !
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Computer Joke
Who holds up stagecoaches and steals laptop computers? Click Turpin
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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