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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny mp3 sounds and other funny jokes |
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Marriage Joke
As supposedly reported on CNN:
Undercover police, staging the wedding of 'a drug kingpin's daughter', let it be known on the street that dealers were 'invited' (i. e. Expected to attend).
The bride and groom were police, as was the band, bartender, and about half the guests. The band playing at the wedding was 'S. P. O. C. ' (COPS, backwards), and the wedding went through the full ceremony, including the dancing afterward.
The long-sought dealers were arrested after the 'band' took their break. The last song the band played before taking its break? 'I Fought The Law, And The Law Won'
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Bible Joke
An elderly man was quite unhappy because he had lost his favorite hat. Instead of buying a new one, he decided he would go to church and swipe one out of the vestibule. When he got there, an usher intercepted him at the door and took him to a pew where he had to sit and listen to the entiresermon on 'The Ten Commandments. ' After church, the man met the preacher in the vestibule doorway, shook his had vigorously, and told him 'I want to thank you preacher for saving my soul today. I came to church to steal a hat and after hearing your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided against it. ' Preacher: 'You mean the commandment 'I shall not steal' changed your mind?' Old Man: 'No, the one about adultery did. As soon as you said that I remember where I left my old hat!'
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Short Stupid Joke
I was twelve before I realized I could cough without having a doctor hold my balls!
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Joke for Kids
One day a priest and a nun went golfing. The first hole the priest missed an extremely easy put. He shouted, 'Damn, missed again. 'The nun, shocked, warned him 'God will get you for that. 'The next hole the same thing occurred. After the priest screamed 'Damn It! Missed again' the nun repeated her warning 'God will get you for that!'On the third hole, the priest again missed, and cursed, but before the nun could repeat her warning, A bolt of lightning came down from the heavens and struck the nun dead. A deep voice from the clouds boomed out 'Damn It! Missed again!'.
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Situations Humor
A fellow has a week off and decides to play a round of golf every day. First thing Monday morning, he sets off on his first round and soon catches up to the person in front. He sees that this is a woman and, as he catches up to her on a par '3
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Mouse Joke
Why do mice have long tails ? Well, they'd look silly with long hair !
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Aviation Joke
USAir recently introduced a special half fare for wives who accompanied their husbands on business trips. Expecting valuable testimonials, the PR department sent out letters to all the wives of businessmen who had used the special rates, asking how they enjoyed their trip. Letters are still pouring in asking, 'What trip?'
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Sporting Joke
Our small town used to have a bowling alley, but somebody stole the pin.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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