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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny mothers day verses and other funny jokes |
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Stupid Men
Why will there be a rash of divorces in about 15 years?
Because that's how long it will take for most husbands to get most of these Dumb Men jokes.
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Blonde Joke - 1
A blonde was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under her arm. As she passed the bus stop, someone asked, 'Where did you get that?' The pig replied, 'I won her in a raffle!'
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Stand Up Joke
Why don't women have any brains?Because they don't have any testicles to put them in.
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Law Joke
Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day.
'My name is Bobby. What's yours?' asked the first boy.
'Danny,' replied the second. 'My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?' asked Bobby.
Danny replied, 'My Daddy's a lawyer. '
'Honest?' asked Bobby.
'No, just the regular kind', replied Danny.
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Men Joke
In a Texas bar, The bartender Fred was fed up with penis boasting from theregulars. So to put an end to all the boasting Fred says to them 'whip 'emout'. Fred pulls a yard stick from under the bar, at the same time a gay guywalks into the bar. Fred ask the man if there is something that he can get forhim. The gay guy replies 'i was going to get a beer, but i'll check your buffettfirst'
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Strange Humor
As the following classified classics will demonstrate, there are often more laughs on the advertising and classified pages than you can find in the cartoons and comic strips:Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family. A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms. Dinner Special -- Turkey $2. 35; Chicken or Beef $2. 25; Children $2. 00. For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers. For sale: a quilted high chair that can be made into a table, pottie chair, rocking horse, refrigerator, spring coat, size 8 and fur collar. Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover. Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too. Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory. Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night. We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand. No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will make it really repellent. For Sale. Three canaries of undermined sex. For Sale -- Eight puppies from a German Shepperd and an Alaskan Hussy. Creative daily specials, including select offerings of beef, foul, fresh vegetables, salads, quiche. 7 ounces of choice sirloin steak, boiled to your likeness and smothered with golden fried onion rings. Great Dames for sale. Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition. Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it. 20 dozen bottles of excellent Old Tawny Port, sold to pay for charges, the owner having lost sight of, and bottled by us last year. Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children. Vacation Special: have your home exterminated. If you think you've seen everything in Paris, visit the Pere Lachasis Cemetery. It boasts such immortals as Moliere, Jean de la Fontain, and Chopin. Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in. The hotel has bowling alleys, tennis courts, comfortable beds, and other athletic facilities. Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours. Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast. Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else. Stock up and save. Limit: one. Save regularly in our bank. You'll never regret it. We build bodies that last a lifetime. Offer expires December 31 or while supplies last. This is the model home for your future. It was panned by Better Homes and Gardens. For Sale--Diamonds $20; microscopes $15. For Rent: 6-room hated apartment. Man, honest. Will take anything. Wanted: chambermaid in rectory. Love in, $200 a month. References required. Wanted: Part-time married girls for soda fountain in sandwich shop. Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel. Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!Christmas tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person. Modular Sofas. Only $299. For rest or fore play. Wanted: Hair-cutter. Excellent growth potential. Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink. 3-year-old teacher need for pre-school. Experience preferred. Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included. Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops. Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again. See ladies blouses. 50% off!Holcross pullets. Starting to lay Betty Clayton, Granite 5-6204. Wanted: Preparer of food. Must be dependable, like the food business, and be willing to get hands dirty. Illiterate? Write today for free help. Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary. Wanted. Widower with school-age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family. Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating. Mother's helper--peasant working conditions. Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale. And now, the Superstore--unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience. We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1. 00. And these beauties from the radio:Ladies and gentlemen, now you can have a bikini for a ridiculous figure. Be with us again next Saturday at 10 p. m. for 'High Fidelity, ' designed to help music lovers increase their reproduction. When you are thirsty, try 7-Up, the refreshing drink in the green bottle with the big 7 on it and u-p after. Tune in next week for another series of classical music programs from the Canadian Broadcorping Castration.
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Men Joke
Q: How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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Humor Joke
How did the octopus lovers walk down the road? Arm in arm in arm in arm in arm in arm in arm in arm in arm.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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