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pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny mothers day cards and other funny jokes |
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Blonde Joke - 1
Be careful never to let a blonde have a coffee break. . . It takes too long to retrain her afterwards!
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Frog Joke
Why is a frog luckier than a cat ? Because a frog croaks all the time but a cat only gets to croak nine times !
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Doctor Joke
The patient shook his doctor's hand in gratitude and said, 'Since we are the best of friends, I would not want to insult you by offering payment. But I would like for you to know that I had mentioned you in my will. ''That is very kind of you, ' said the doctor emotionally, and then added, 'Can I see that prescription I just gave you? I'd like to make a little change. '
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Gender Joke
Advice From Men To Women. . . Never buy a 'new' brand of beer because 'it was on sale. '. . . If we're in the backyard and the TV in the den is on, that doesn't mean we're not watching it. . . . Don't tell anyone we can't afford a new car. Tell them we don't want one. . . . Whenever possible please try to say whatever you have to say during commercials. . . . Please don't drive when you're not driving. . . . Don't feel compelled to tell us how all the people in your stories are related to one another: We're just nodding, waiting for the punchline. . . . The quarterback who just got pummeled isn't trying to be brave. He's just not crying. Big difference!. . . When the waiter asks if everything's okay, a simple 'Yes' is fine.
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College Humor
Why do blondes where underwear?To keep their ankles warm.
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Bed Joke
Why did the composer spend all his time in bed? He wrote sheet music.
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Ethnic Humor
After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough (they could not afforda larger double-wide). So, the husband went to his doctor (who also treated mules) and told himthat he and his wife/cousin didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem. The doctor instructed him to go home, get a cherry bomb (fireworks are legal in 'Bama), light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10. The Alabamian said to the doctor, 'I may not be the smartest man, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me. ' So, the couple drove to Georgia to get a second opinion. The Georgia physician was just about to tell them about the procedure for a vasectomy when he noticed that they were from Alabama. This doctor instead told the man to go home and get a cherry bomb, light it, place it in a beercan, hold it to his ear and count to 10. Figuring that both learned physicians couldn't be wrong, the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count. ''1
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Mental health Joke
The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test. Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, 'How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?' A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, 'A basketball coach?'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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