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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny mobile phone videos and other funny jokes |
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Witch Joke
Why did the witch wear a green felt pointed hat? So she could walk across snooker tables without being seen.
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Simple Joke
For Chocolate Lovers:If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly. Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want. The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot. Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less. A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what is wrong with you?If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves. If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet?Money talks. Chocolate sings. Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger. Q. Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous? A. Because no one wants to quit. If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated. Put 'eat chocolate' at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.
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Statistics and Math Joke
Theorem: All numbers are equal. Proof: Choose arbitrary a and b, and let t = a + b. Thena + b = t(a + b)(a - b) = t(a - b)a^2 - b^2 = ta - tba^2 - ta = b^2 - tba^2 - ta + (t^2)/4 = b^2 - tb + (t^2)/4(a - t/2)^2 = (b - t/2)^2a - t/2 = b - t/2a = bSo all numbers are the same, and math is pointless.
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Funny College Joke
Your momma is so fat, she was swimming in the ocean and all the whales started singing, 'we are family'.
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Humor Joke
A husband and wife were shopping when the wife said, 'Darling, its my mother's birthday tomorrow. What shall we buy for her? She would like something electric. ' The husband replied, 'How about a chair?!?'
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Computer Joke
I overheard a woman in a computer store say to the sales assistant 'I want a game capable of holding the interest of my six-year-old, but it's got to be simple enough for his father to play, too. '
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Funny College Joke
Your momma so fat when she wears high heels she strikes oil!
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Weirdest Joke
This one little boy in about 4th or 5th grade was trying out for a school play. He earned a part and went home to tell his father. His father was really proud of him. So his father asks what part did you get?He replies I got the part or a man who has been married for 25 years. His father congradulated him. And then he said 'Thats good son, maybe next time you'll get a talking role!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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