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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny message tones and other funny jokes |
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Redneck Joke
What sits at the bottom of the bed and constantly takes the piss???A kidney dialysis machine!
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Pig Joke
Do pigs like Backgammon? No, they prefer their backs scratched.
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Bible Joke
An Irish priest and a Rabbi found themselves sharing a compartment on a train. After a while, the priest opened a conversation by saying 'I know that, in yourreligion, you're not supposed to eat pork. . . Have you actually ever tasted it?The Rabbi said, 'I must tell the truth. Yes, I have, on the odd occasion. 'Then the Rabbi had his turn of interrogation. He asked, 'Your religion, too. . . I know you're suposed to be celibate. But. . . . 'The priest replied, 'Yes, I know what you're going to ask. I have succumbedonce or twice. 'There was silence for a while. Then the Rabbi peeped around the newspaper hewas reading and said, 'Better than pork, isn't it?'
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Marriage Joke
How do you turn a Fox into a Pit Bull? Marry her !
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Legal Humor
A person is in the hospital and asked his doctor how much time does he have left to live. The doctor did not want to lie so he told him that he wouldn't make it through the night. So the person calls for his lawyer and asks him to come and sit by his bed. Right before the person dies, the lawyer asks him why did he want him next to him. The dying person replied, 'When Jesus died, he had a thief next to him and I want to go the same way. '
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Best Joke Online
A lady is throwing a party for her granddaughter, and had gone all out. . . a caterer, band, and a hired clown. Just before the party started, two bums showed up looking for a handout. Feeling sorry for the bums, the woman told them that she would give them a meal if they will help chop some wood for her. Gratefully, they headed to the rear of the house. The guests arrived, and all was going well with the children having a wonderful time. But the clown hadn't shown up. After a half an hour, the clown finally called to report that he was stuck in traffic, and would probably not make the party at all. The woman was very disappointed and unsuccessfully tried to entertain the children herself. She happened to look out the window and saw one of the bums doing cartwheels across the lawn. She watched in awe as he swung from tree branches, did midair flips, and leaped high in the air. She spoke to the other bum and said, 'What your friend is doing is absolutely marvelous. I have never seen such a thing. Do you think your friend would consider repeating this performance for the children at the party? I would pay him $50!'The other bum says, 'Well, I dunno. Let me ask him -HEY WILLIE! FOR $'50
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Accountant Joke
What do you call an accountant who is seen talking to someone? Popular
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Sport Joke
Why was the struggling mange seen shaking the club cat? To see if there was any more money in the kitty!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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