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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny maternity wear and other funny jokes |
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Christmas Joke - 1
8. Kid's letter to north pole comes back stamped, 'Dream on, Chester!'7. Kid asks for new bike, gets pack of smokes6. Along with presents, Santa leaves hefty bill for shipping and handling. 5. By the time he gets to your house, all he has left is foam packing. 4. Christmas day, your kid wakes up with a Reindeer head in his bed. 3. Instead of 'Naughty' or 'Nice', Santa has him on the stupid list2. Labels on all your kid's toys read 'Straight from Craptown. '1. Four words: 'Off my lap, Tubby!'
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Bumper Stickers - 6
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
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Travel Humor
If you are considering doing some camping this summer, please note the following public serviceannouncement: In Alaska, tourists are warned to wear tiny bells on their clothing when hiking in bearcountry. The bells warn away MOST bears (brown, black, etc. ), but be careful because they don't scare Grizzly Bears. Tourists are cautioned to watch the ground on the trail, paying particular attention to bear droppings to be alert for the presence of Grizzly Bears. One can easily spot a Grizzly dropping because it has tiny bells in it.
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Bird Joke
Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say: 'Jesus is watching you!' Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again. 'Jesus is watching you, ' the voice boomed again. The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot. He asked the parrot: 'Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?' 'Yes', said the parrot. The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, and asked the parrot: 'What's your name?' 'Clarence, ' said the bird. 'That's a dumb name for a parrot, ' sneered the burglar. 'What idiot named you Clarence?' The parrot said, 'The same idiot who named the Rottweiller Jesus. '
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Bus Joke
A man standing at a bus stop was eating a hamburger. Next to him stood a lady with her little dog, which became very excited at the smell of the man's supper and began whining and jumping up at him. 'Do you mind if I throw him a bit?' said the man to the lady. 'Not at all, ' she replied, whereupon the man picked the dog up and threw it over a wall.
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Aviation Joke
Tower: Mission triple-three, do you have problems? Pilot: I think, I have lost my compass. Tower: Judging the way you are flying, you lost the whole instrument panel. .
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Bumper Stickers - 4
I Just Got Lost In Thought. It Was Unfamiliar Territory
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Weirdest Joke
Why are men like commercials?You can't believe a word they say.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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