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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny letters to santa and other funny jokes |
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Yo Mama Joke
Yo mama's so ugly, she's like Taco Bell. When people see her, they run for the border.
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Farmer Joke
A retiring farmer in preparation for selling his land, needed to rid his farm of animals. So he went to every house in his town. To the houses where the man is the boss, he gave a horse. To the houses where the woman is the boss, a chicken was given. He got toward the end of the street and saw a couple outside gardening. 'Who's the boss around here?' he asked. 'I am. ' said the man. 'I have a black horse and a brown horse, ' the farmer said, 'which one would you like?' The man thought for a minute and said, 'The black one. ' 'No, no, no, get the brown one. ' the man's wife said. 'Here's your chicken. ' said the farmer.
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Satire Joke
Q: How many Microsoft employees does it take to change a lightbulb?A:10. 1 to release a beta version 1 to complete the documentation 1 to test for hardware compatibility 1 to deny tech support 1 to configure the TCP/IP 1 to check for y2k compliance 1 to program the software to be compatible with the other software 1 to approve the invoice for the ladder 1 to change the bulb. (That's nine because there's always one more thing you need. )
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Doctor Joke
What can I do? I think I'm a pair of curtains?
Pull yourself together man!
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Dead and dying Joke
An English guy was very ill and his son went to visit him in the hospital. Suddenly, the father began to breathe heavily and grabbed the pen and pad by the bed. With his last ounce of strength he wrote a note, dropped it, and died. The son was so overcome with grief that he didn't remember slipping the note into his pocket. At the funeral, he reached into the pocket of his coat and immediately felt the note. He excitedly read it thinking it might be something he could recite during the service. It said: YOU WANKER -- GET OFF MY OXYGEN TUBE!!!
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Food and Drink Joke
At a party, a conjurer was producing egg after egg from a little boy's ear. 'There!' he said proudly. 'I bet your Mum can't produce eggs without hens, can she?' 'Oh yes, she can, ' said the boy. 'She keeps ducks. '
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Bird Joke
Q: What is a crowbar? A: A place were crows go to get a drink!
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Police Joke
A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store. 'Listen, ' said the shoplifter, 'I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch and we forget about this?' The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook looked at the slip and said, 'This is a little more than I intended to spend. Can you show me something less expensive?'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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