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The
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5QS |
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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny leaving cards and other funny jokes |
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Bar Joke - 1
A man walks into a bar, and as he makes his way to the counter, he stops and talks to everyone in the bar. As he finishes with each group of people, they all get up and leave and go stand outside the window, looking in. Finally, the bar is empty except for this guy and the bartender. The man walks up to the counter, and says to the bartender, 'I bet you $'1
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Sport Joke
The Fire brigade phones George Graham in the early hours of Sunday morning. 'Mr Graham sir, White Hart Lane is on fire!''The cups man! Save the cups!' cries George. 'Uh, the fire hasn't spread to the canteen yet, sir. '
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Science Joke
What do you call two lesbians in a canoe?Fur traders.
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Computer Joke
Who sits on Cinderella's keyboard? Buttons.
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War Joke
There's a guy from ARMY driving from West Point to the Meadowlands, a guy from the NAVY was driving from Annapolis to the Meadowlands, and an Air Force guy who's driving from McGwire in South Jerz to the Meadowlands just to watch the Jets. In the middle of the night with no other cars on the road they hit each other and all cars go flying off in different directions. The squid manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, 'Man, I am really lucky to be alive!' Likewise the ARMY guy scrambles out of his car and looks at his wreckage. The Air Force guy just shakes his head and says to himself, 'I can't believe I survived this wreck!' The NAVY guy walks over to the ARMY and Air Force guys and says, 'Hey guys, I think this is a sign from God that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of arch rivals. ' The ARMY guy thinks for a moment and says, 'You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. 'The Air Force guy says 'Let me see what else survived this wreck. ' So he pops open his trunk and finds a full unopened bottle of Jack Daniels. He says to the NAVY and Army guys, 'I think this is another sign from God that we should toast to our new found understanding and friendship. ' The Swabbie says, 'You're right!' and he grabs the bottle and starts sucking down Jack Daniels. After putting away nearly a third of the bottle the Squid hands it to the ARMY guy and says, 'Your turn! The ARMY guy sucks down a thirdand hands the bottle back to the Air Force guy. The Air Force guy puts the cap back on the bottle and says, 'I think I'll wait for the cops to show up. '
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Bumper Stickers - 6
People who think they know what they're doing are especially annoying to those of us who do.
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Celebrities Joke
What is the difference between Michael Jackson and greyhound racing?The greyhounds wait for the hares to come out
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Business Joke
Boss: 'I've decided to use humor in the office. Experts say humor eases tension, which is important in times when the work force is being trimmed. 'Knock knock. ' Employee: 'Who's there?' Boss: 'Not you anymore. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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