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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny lanyards and other funny jokes |
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Knock Knock Joke - 1
Knock Knock Who's there ! Alice ! Alice who ? Alice N. Tew if you'll listen to me !
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Christmas Joke - 2
What's Father Christmas called when he takes a rest while delivering presents ? Santa pause !
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Random Joke
One day there was a boy at school and his teacher told him to get 4 spelling words. 1st he went to his Brother and asked 'Could you give me a spelling word?' His Brother answered 'ShutUp' So he wrote down Shutup. 2nd he went to his Mother and asked her. She answered 'Certainly' He wrote down certinly. 3rd he wen to his Dad and asked for somthing sweet. His dad answered Lolipop so he wrote down Lolipop. 4th he went to his little brother and asked the question. He answered 'In my Little Blue Car' The next day he went to school and his teacher asked for the words. He said his 1st word Shutup. Then she asked 'Do you want to go to the principles office?' He said is second word 'Certainly'. In the principals office the principal asked what do you think you deserve, the boy answered 'Lolipop!!' Then the principal asked 'What do you think your punishment should be?' The boy answered 'To go in my Little Blue Car!!!!'
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Vampire Joke
Did you hear about the vampire who joined an orchestra? He stood on the roof and conducted lightning.
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Fishing Joke
What do romantic fish sing to each other? Salmon-chanted evening !
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Stand Up Joke
A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said, 'I guess when I die you'll come and dance on my grave. ' The cadet replied, 'Not me, Sarge. . . no sir!I promised myself that when I got out of the Army I'd never stand in another line!'
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Funny College Joke
Yo mamma's so stupid, she put a quarter in a parking meter and said 'Hey, where's my gumball?'
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Naughty Joke
The newly married man came home from work to find his new bride stretched languorously on the sofa, dressed in a negligee. 'Guess what I got planned for dinner?' she asked seductively. 'And don't you dare tell me you had it for lunch today. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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