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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny keyrings and other funny jokes |
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Dog Joke - 2
What is the difference between a barking dog and an umbrella? The umbrella can be shut up.
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Satire Joke
Q: What did the blonde's mom say to her before the blonde's date?A: If you're not in bed by '12
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Cow Joke
What do you get from an invisible cow? Evaporated milk!
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Women Joke
A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams. 'Now what should I do?' His mother has an idea. 'Why don't you send her flowers, and on the card invite her to your apartment for a home cooked meal?' He thought this was a great strategy, and a week later the woman came to dinner. His mother called the next day to see how things had gone. ' I was humiliated, ' he groaned. 'She insisted on washing the dishes. ' ' What's wrong with that?' asked his mother. ' We hadn't started eating yet. '
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Free Joke
A fireman is at the station house working outside on the fire truck when he notices a little girl next door. The little girl is in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the side. She is wearing a fireman's hat and has the wagon tied to a dog. The fireman says 'Hey little girl. What are you doing?' The little girl says 'I'm pretending to be a fireman and this is my fire truck!' The fireman walks over to take a closer look. 'Little girl that sure is a nice fire truck!' the fireman says. 'Thanks mister' says the little girl. The fireman looks a little closer and notices the little girl has tied the dog to the wagon by its testicles. 'Little girl', says the fireman, 'I don't want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the dog's neck I think you could go faster. ' The little girl says, 'You're probably right mister, but then I wouldn't have a siren!'
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Salesmen Joke
A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store and he does a double take. He recognizes that the saucer is extremely old and very valuable, so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the cat for two dollars. The storeowner replies 'I'm sorry, but the cat isn't for sale. The collector says, 'Please, I need a hungry cat around the house to catch mice. I'll pay you twenty dollars for that cat. ' And the owner says 'Sold, ' and hands over the cat. The collector continues, 'Hey, for the twenty bucks I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer. The cat's used to it and it'll save me from having to get a dish. ' And the owner says, 'Sorry buddy, but That's my lucky saucer. So far this week I've sold sixty-eight cats. '
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Joke for Kids
This Polak came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting 'honey I am home!'What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun and put it to his head. His wife started laughing. 'Don't laugh!' he screams. 'You're next!'
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Computer Joke
One guy was on duty in the main lab on a quiet afternoon. He noticed a young woman sitting in front of one of the workstations with her arms crossed across her chest and staring at the screen. After about 15 minutes he noticed that she was still in the same position only now she was impatiently tapping her foot. He asked if she needed help and she replied, It's about time! I pushed the F1 button over twenty minutes ago!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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