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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny jumpers and other funny jokes |
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Horse Joke
Did you hear about the Irishman who couldn't tell the difference between his two horses? His friend suggested measuring them, that didn't help though, the Irishman discovered that the brown horse was only an inch taller than the white one!
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Birthday Joke
Fred: I was going to buy you a handkerchief for your birthday. Betty: That was a kind thought. But why didn't you? Fred: I couldn't find one big enough for your nose.
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Politics Humor
A lady from California purchased a piece of timber land in Oregon. There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted to get a good view of her land so she started to climb the big tree. As she neared the top, she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the lady slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her private parts. In considerable pain, she hurried to the nearest doctor. He listened to her story then told her to go into the examining room and he would see if he could help her. She sat and waited for three hours before the doctor reappeared. The angry lady demanded ' What took you so long?' and he replied 'Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a recreational area. '
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Women Joke
A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads, 'For Women Only. ' Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. 'We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside. ' They start going up and on the first floor the sign reads, 'All the men on this floor are short and plain. ' The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor. The sign on the second floor reads, 'All the men here are short and handsome. ' Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up. They reach the third floor and the sign reads, 'All the men here are tall and plain. ' They still want to do better, and so, knowing there \r nare still two floors left, they continue on up. On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect. 'All the men here are tall and handsome. ' The women get all excited and are about to go in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they would be missing, they head on up to the fifth floor. On the fifth floor they find a sign that reads, 'There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman. '
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Science Joke
If you cloned Henry IV, would he be Henry V, or Henry IV Part II?
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Computing Joke
One of Microsoft's finest technicans was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target. The technician looked at his rifle, and then at the target. He looked at the rifle again, and then at the target again. He put his finger over the end of the rifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand. The end of his finger was blown off, whereupon he yelled toward the target area, 'It's leaving here just fine, the trouble must be at your end!'
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Dumb Men Joke
Two buddies get together and decide togo to a whorehouse, one of them tired ofdoing it with his wife all the time, theother not having it done for a long time. Anyways the married one goes up andcomes down and says ' My wife is muchbetter'. 'Allright' goes the other guy, ' Let me go try the same woman. 'Well he goes and screws the whore, comes than says to his buddy, ' You areright man, Your wife is much better. '
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Music Joke
Q. How is a heart like a musician? A. They both have a beat :)
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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