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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny ironing board covers and other funny jokes |
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Joke Online
A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort up north. The husband liked to fish at the crack of dawn; the wife preferred to read. One morning the husband returned after several hours of fishing and decided to take a short nap. The wife decided to take the boat out. She was not familiar with the lake so she rowed out, anchored the boat, and started reading her book. Along comes the sheriff in his boat, pulls up alongside and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?' 'Reading my book, ' she replies as she thinks to herself, 'Is this guy blind or what?' 'You're in a restricted fishing area, ' he informs her. 'But, Officer, I'm not fishing. Can't you see that?' 'But you have all this equipment, Ma'am. I'll have to take you in and write you up. ' 'If you do that, I will charge you with rape, ' snaps the irate woman. 'I didn't even touch you, ' grouses the sheriff. 'Yes, that's true . . . but you have all the equipment . . . 'Moral: Never argue with a woman who knows how to read!
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Various animal Joke
What purrs along the road and leaves holes in the lawn? A Moles Royce.
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School Joke
Teacher : Tommy you try my patience ! Tommy: No, teacher you had better try mine. There's more of it !
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School Joke
When were King Arthur's army too tired to fight?
When they had lots of sleepless knights!
How do bees get to school?
By school buzz!
How did you do in your tests?
I did what George Washington did!
Teacher: I hope I didn't see you looking at Fred's test paper.
Pupil: I hope you didn't see me either!
Teacher: You copies from Fred's exam paper didn't you?
Pupil: How did you know?
Teacher: Fred's paper says 'I don't know' and you have put 'Me, neither'!
What was Camelot famous for?
It's knight life!
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Joke for Speeches
What is the difference between a lawyer and a sperm?At least a sperm has a one in one million chance of becoming a humanbeing.
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Police Joke
After pulling a farmer over for speeding, a state trooper started to lecture him about his speed, pompously implying that the farmer didn't know any better and trying to make him feel as uncomfortable as possible. He finally started writing out the ticket, but had to keep swatting at some flies buzzing around his head.
The farmer said, 'Having some problems with circle flies there are ya?'
The trooper paused to take another swat and said, 'Well, yes, if that's what they are. I've never heard of circle flies. '
The farmer was pleased to enlighten the cop. 'Circle flies are common on farms. They're called circle flies because you almost always find them circling the back end of a horse. '
The trooper continues writing for a moment, then says,' Hey, are you trying to call me a horse's behind?'
'Oh no, officer. ' The farmer replies. 'I have too much respect for law enforcement and police officers for that. '
'That's a good thing,' the officer says rudely, then goes back to writing the ticket.
After a long pause, the farmer added, 'Hard to fool them flies, though. '
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Mom Joke
My Mother taught me about RECEIVING. . . .
'You are going to get it when we get home!'
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Internet Joke
Have you seen www. pitchdark. com? Yes, but I really couldn't see what all the fuss is about.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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