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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny housewarming gifts and other funny jokes |
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Telephone Joke
How does Ebenezer Scrooge make phone calls? Collect!
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Dumb Blonde Joke
Q: Where do you look for blonde's obituaries?
A: Under 'Home Improvements. '
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Doctor Joke
A doctor is talking to a car mechanic, 'Your fee is several times more per hour then we get paid for medical care. ''Yeah, but you see, doc, you have always the same model, it hasn't changed since Adam; but we have to keep up to date with new models coming every month. '
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Bath Joke
Adam: How did Mummy know you hadn't had a bath? Eve: I forgot to dirty the towel, wet the soap and flood the bathroom.
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Cannibal Joke
The cannibal king was having dinner when a servant came running in. 'Your Majesty, ' he said, 'the slaves are revolting!' 'You don't have to tell me, ' said the king. 'I'm trying to eat them. 'Where did we get these slaves anyway?' 'From the country next door, ' replied the servant. 'We must get a new butcher, ' said the king. 'Bring me Delia Smith. ' 'We can't, Your Majesty, she's still cooking for you. ' 'Well, bring her to me once she's crispy enough, ' said the king.
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Weird Women Joke
At a dinner party, several of the guests were arguing whether men or women were more trustworthy. 'No woman, ' said one man, scornfully, 'can keep a secret. ' 'I don't know about that, ' huffily answered a woman guest. 'I have kept my age a secret since I was twenty-one. ' 'You'll let it out some day, ' the man insisted. 'I hardly think so!' responded the lady. 'When a woman has kept a secret for twenty-seven years, she can keep it forever. '
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Internet Joke
I never thought that the Internet was very useful, but now I've changed my mind. Let's hope your new one works better then the one you had before.
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Village Idiot Joke
What is a dyslexic agnostic insomniac?Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there really is a dog.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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